Mastering your digital world: navigating friendships, personalities, and predators

By Daren Dhoray

Digital Anthropologist | Cyber Safety Evangelist | Social Media Entrepreneur

Founder of CyberSafeTT https://cybersafett.com/

If you’re a teen in Trinidad and Tobago today, your life isn’t just happening in the classroom, at the mall, or coffee shop. It’s happening in the palm of your hand. Whether you’re curated for the ‘aesthetic’ of your Instagram grid, keeping up a Snapchat streak, or jumping on the latest TikTok trend, you are constantly managing an online personality and brand. And this is all good; It’s fun, it’s creative, and it’s how we stay connected.

But as much as we love the digital world, there’s a flip side that we need to talk about. At CyberSafeTT, we see how easily a fun chat can turn into something complicated or even dangerous.

The personality vs the reality

On platforms like TikTok and Instagram, there’s a lot of pressure to look perfect or act a certain way. Sometimes, this leads to fraping or impersonation, where someone might create a fake account to ruin your reputation, something we’ve seen happen too often in local schools. Visit this link to read more about the types of CyberBullying: https://cybersafett.com/10-types-of-cyberbullying/

Managing your digital footprint is more important now than ever before because what you post today can influence decisions made about you in the future.

Think about it: that ‘funny’ video or private photo could resurface when you’re applying for a job or a scholarship. Or more impactful, that politically motivated comment can even impact your ability to study in a foreign country.

Your digital personality should be one you’re proud of, today as well as five years from today.

The catfish trap and online relationships

Online relationships are the norm now, but can you truly say that the person behind the screen is actually who they say they are? Catfishing is real. A ‘catfish’ uses fake photos and a false persona to lure you into a friendship or romance

In Trinidad and Tobago, we have seen cases where teens (and even adults) fall for someone online, only to find out it was a scammer or a predator. A major red flag? If they always have an excuse for why their camera doesn’t work, or if they suddenly ask for money or explicit photos.

If a relationship feels like it’s moving too fast or getting too ‘deep’ too quickly, take a step back.

Spotting the predator

Predators don’t always look like ‘bad guys’. They are often professional manipulators who can groom a victim in as little as 20 minutes. They prey on the vulnerable, look for people who seem lonely or misunderstood and tell them exactly what they want to hear.

Sharing too much of ourselves online, physically and emotionally can be used to target us. Read this article from CyberSafeTT on tactics that online predators use: https://cybersafett.com/7-things-online-predators-say/

Watch out for these common cyber grooming tactics:

• “Let’s move this to a private app.” They might try to move you away from Snapchat or Instagram to an unmonitored or encrypted app so no one else can see the chat.
• “Your parents don’t understand you like I do.” They try to isolate you from the people who care about you.
• Coercion and blackmail. This is the ‘virtual bondage’. They might send you a nude photo (usually a fake one) and pressure you to send one back. Once you do, they use it as leverage to make you do things you aren’t comfortable with. This is a serious issue which is outlined more here: https://cybersafett.com/7-things-online-predators-say/

Stay safe and speak up

We want you to enjoy your digital life, but we want you to be ‘CyberSafe’ while doing it. Here are a few tips to keep in your back pocket:

Strict privacy: Lock down your settings on all social media platforms. Only let people you actually know in real life follow you.

Friends audit: Audit your friends list. You may have added someone a few years ago who you may no longer want to share your most private and intimate life moments with.

The screenshot is your friend: If someone is being weird, harassing you, or threatening you, screenshot everything. Do not delete the evidence; it’s what the police will need if things escalate. Read this: https://cybersafett.com/cyberbullying-policy/

Talk to a trusted adult: If you feel like you’re in too deep, please tell someone. Whether it’s a parent, a teacher, or a counsellor, there is no shame in being a victim. The predator is the one in the wrong, not you.

At CyberSafeTT, our mission is to make sure every teen in T&T can navigate the web without fear. You’re in control of your digital world; don’t let a stranger take that away from you. Stay safe, stay smart, and remember: Think before you post!