Why is dating so difficult as a young Catholic?

By Taye Coryatt

St Francis of Assisi RC Parish, Sangre Grande

Catholic marriages have been declining. According to the Vocation Ministry’s Facebook page, there has been a 27 per cent decrease in Catholic marriages. Many reasons are offered to explain this trend, but one important question often goes unasked: ‘how can someone get married if they do not know how to date?’ Many young people describe today’s dating pool as “dirty,” and that perception reflects a deeper issue: many of us simply have not learned how to date well. Whether it is limited options within our faith communities, the challenge of dating intentionally for marriage while remaining chaste or navigating relationships in the age of technology and social media, young Catholics are finding dating increasingly difficult.

There is an important distinction between identifying as Catholic and being a practising Catholic. A practising Catholic attends Mass regularly, shares the faith actively, strives for a deep and intentional relationship with God, and often comes from a supportive, faith-centred family. These qualities are foundational for building strong relationships and healthy marriages.

Yet, finding someone who embodies all these traits can be more challenging than expected. Many young adults encounter potential partners who are already in relationships or who prefer not to date within their own church community.

As options narrow, the temptation to compromise can grow. Someone may overlook the fact that a partner does not attend church regularly or may neglect their own spiritual growth to sustain the relationship. There is also a troubling stigma within some youth and young adult circles suggesting that ‘church girls are bad’ or that church-going men are ‘a waste of time.’

Such attitudes can push young Catholics to look outside their faith for relationships or worse, to treat shared faith as optional rather than essential when discerning a life partner.

Living in 2026, we must also contend with what is commonly called modern ‘hook-up culture’. This refers to social environments where casual sexual encounters are normalised or even encouraged.

Hook-up culture removes the long-term emotional, spiritual, and vulnerable intimacy necessary to build a lasting relationship. In many ways, it takes God out of our interactions.

Approaching relationships with this mindset can foster fear of commitment, insecurity, self-objectification, emotional detachment, and shallow connections. When dating is reduced to short-term gratification, the broader vision of love and vocation is lost.

This cultural climate also makes it harder to live out chastity. Chastity is not merely abstinence; it is the respectful and self-controlled integration of one’s sexuality.

It calls for maturity, discipline, and shared values. Without a partner who is ‘evenly yoked’ in faith and commitment, maintaining chastity becomes far more difficult.

Social media has added another layer of complexity. Many young people struggle with face-to-face communication and forming deep connections. Superficial online interactions can replace meaningful friendships, and ‘ghosting’ has made it easy to avoid difficult conversations.

These habits affect Catholic youth just as much as anyone else. When teenagers admit they do not know how to build friendships with someone of the opposite gender, it signals a broader relational gap that will inevitably impact dating and marriage.

What is the solution? The Church must be more intentional in forming young people not only spiritually, but relationally. By creating safe spaces to discuss dating, chastity, and discernment along with mentorship, communication workshops, and community-building events, young adults can learn to date with purpose and faith.

If this gap is not addressed, the decline in the Sacrament of Marriage may continue. Teaching young Catholics to date intentionally and build relationships rooted in Christ is not optional; it is essential for the future of Catholic marriage.