By Michelle Lee

Motherhood is a journey of both immense joy and a “refining fire”. It is a blessing that demands the surrender of our own lives so that we might bear fruit in the lives of our children. My journey has taught me a sobering spiritual truth: I cannot give what I do not possess.

Looking back from the age of 52 to when I first became a mother at 26, I see a woman who was a navigator without a compass. Despite my Catholic roots, I lacked a true foundation in God. I spent years searching for identity in the wrong places, gasping for air like a lost turtle in a vast pond. God was calling me, but I didn’t yet recognise His voice.

Without Christ, I found myself parenting out of “imprints”—repeating the methods, frustrations, and behaviours passed down from my own upbringing. I was pouring from an empty cup, simply repeating history because I had nothing else to offer.

It was only through the exhaustion of trying to do everything on my own that I realised I had to seek first the Kingdom of God. That pivotal ‘yes’ changed everything, shifting my worth from worldly achievements to my identity as His daughter.

Now, I strive to live out this truth as a roadmap for my own daughters. I want them to see—through my actions and my surrender—that they don’t have to carry the weight of the world.

I’ve realised that my most important ministry isn’t public; it is the one I live out daily at home. To leave a true legacy for my three daughters, I had to lay down my defences and unlearn the behaviours I had carried for decades. I had to heal so that grace could flow through me to them.

Leading with humility

In my quest to be the mother God created me to be, I look to Our Lady. If Mary defeated the pride of Satan through her humility and mercy, I must do the same. I have moved away from the days when I disciplined just to satisfy a need for authority or shouted to feel in control.

I now understand that when we demand authority through volume, we crush our children’s spirits and give them a reason to hide or run away. I no longer discipline to exert control, but to provide connection. By letting go of my ego, I allow my home to be a place of mercy.

Walking with Christ requires a ‘Yes’ that does not waver during the storms. I have learned to entrust the entire journey to Him in total surrender. My healing is the key to the generations following me; I refuse to sabotage the flow of God’s grace by staying stuck in my own feelings or self-will.

We are all on different timelines. Even if our loved ones roam like the Prodigal Son, we must remain the light and keep the path clear, so they feel comfortable coming home.

My daily prayer is to one day offer the Lord the precious lives of my children, presented from a heart refined by the constant action of dying to self. I lean on the truth of Psalm 51:17: “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” I have come to see that true repentance and a humble spirit are far more pleasing to Him than any outward ritual.

We are the living Gospel our children read every day. Our life is the homily, and I have found that Love is the only language that truly converts.

Michelle Lee is Camsel’s Ambassador and serves as a volunteer Religious Education teacher with Children on Fire for Christ at Pleasantville Senior Secondary. She is also involved in the Ministry Animation Team in her parish, St Benedict’s RC Church, La Romaine.