Let’s be friends! The Ministry of Friendship

By Denise Scott

There is a whole generation of young people who have no clue how to socialise and make friends, so they stay to themselves.  It started long before though, with at least two generations before.  Most adults, especially women that I know, struggle to make friends.

When my friend Geeta had her 40 and fabulous birthday, she realised something unexpected: her life was full, but her heart was lonely. She had a good job, two children in university, and a ministry at church that kept her busy. Yet she felt the quiet ache of having no one with whom to truly share her soul. Her childhood friends had migrated, her work friends were friendly but distant, and the women at church were just people with whom she politely smiled. She was 40, she was fabulous, but she was friendless.

So, Geeta decided she needed to start making friends.  She pondered that she was busy creating a life of which her friends would be envious, but she was so busy getting the nice house, the nice car, the good job, the well-behaved children that she had no time to make friends, and now that her husband has passed, she needed friends. One Wednesday, after leaving Adoration, she lingered behind to help fold the parish bulletins. That’s when she noticed Keisha, a woman around her age, sitting alone in the pew, wiping her eyes discreetly. Maria felt the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit—that same soft whisper she often ignored because she didn’t want to interfere in anyone’s business. But this time she walked over.

“Hi,” Geeta said softly, “Are you okay?”

Keisha hesitated, then nodded with a trembling smile. “Rough week,” she whispered. “I recently lost my job…and honestly, everything feels heavy.” Geeta had a similar experience one year ago, so she was able to relate. She knew the fear and anxiety that being jobless brought. Geeta didn’t have any words, because she also knew that words meant nothing at a time like this, so she just sat beside her. No advice. No rushing. Just presence.

That simple act became the beginning of a friendship neither woman expected. They started meeting after Adoration every Tuesday, then they realised that they both attended Saturday evening Mass, then they joined the Bible study on Wednesday nights. Their conversations grew deeper—not forced, not perfect, but sacred. They prayed together; they held space for each other’s struggles. They also went shopping, hiking and their latest craze was participating in every 5K they could find. They reminded each other that God never intended His daughters to journey alone.

One afternoon, months later, Keisha told Geeta, “You know…you saved me. I thought I had no one. I was so depressed that day.” Geeta shook her head. “No, Keisha. God sent us to each other.”

And it was true. What began as a simple hello had become a lifeline, a ministry of presence, encouragement, prayer, and sisterhood.

So many of us journey in our church life alone, not making friends because we feel unworthy or afraid, but I believe that Friendship is Ministry.

We saw it in Ruth and Naomi, two adult women bound not by blood but by loyalty and love. Ruth’s famous words, “Where you go, I will go… your people shall be my people” (Ruth 1:16) were not spoken in youth but in mature womanhood, after loss and hardship.

We saw it in Mary and Elizabeth, two women at very different stages of life yet deeply connected. Their meeting was more than a visit; it was spiritual companionship, confirmation, and joy shared between adults navigating divine callings (Lk 1:39-45).

And she saw it in Jesus Himself ! He was the ultimate friend.  He formed deep, intentional friendships as an adult. He chose His disciples not as acquaintances but as companions — “I have called you friends” (Jn 15:15). With Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, He cultivated genuine affection and trust; Scripture says plainly, “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (Jn 11:5).

We must see our friendships as part of this long biblical lineage women supporting women, adults walking together with God at the centre.

In the end, Geeta realised that friendship in adulthood is a calling. A way God uses ordinary women to heal hearts, uplift spirits, and reveal His love, one conversation, one coffee date, one brave step at a time.

Ladies, let’s be friends!