By Shanice Padmore
You ever see an old classmate that you dislike, looking like she living her best life and yuh blood start to boil because you know she wicked too bad? Ok, listen, girl, let me save you some unnecessary stress! Stop being jealous of other women. Especially in Trinidad and Tobago, where everybody looking like they have life figured out but most times it’s just an optical illusion mixed with Snapchat filters that make their lives seem much more glamorous than it really is.
You see Jane that you watching on Instagram, smiling with the perfect curls, new car, and ‘God is good’ caption? She might be sitting in that same car praying it don’t cut off by the lights in Curepe because the engine making a funny noise since last week. She just editing her problems like how she edits her selfies. Sometimes you have to crop out the struggle and post the blessing for the blessings to continue.
We Trini women are professional illusionists. But it’s actually a kind of faith and trust built from generations before us that makes us proclaim that our life is better than it really is. Sometimes I am intimidated by people’s WhatsApp profile pictures thinking” ‘ I am speaking to some glamorous queen’ and, in reality, it is someone who does not even know how to apply make up! A Trini woman will go through heartbreak, debt, job stress, and still show up in full glam to church saying, ‘I’m too blessed to be stressed’, while quietly rebuking tears under the anointing. The thing is not everyone needs to know our problems.
So don’t waste your energy envying what you see. Because what you seeing is just a presentation, not the full documentary. You would not be able to handle the whole show.
You know that coworker who always dressing like she going somewhere better after work? She probably is! Straight to her mother’s house to collect food because she can’t afford groceries this week. The neighbour who just got her ‘dream house’? Mortgage swallowing her like Jonah and the whale. The friend who always glowing? Might just be from the ring light she using for her side hustle selling lace front wigs and hope. You never know the whole story.
Here’s the thing: everybody fighting some kind of battle, but not everybody posting the war. We are all editing our stories, trying to make life look less like trial and tribulation and more like fun, sea and sand. But jealousy will make you miserable over something that might be borrowed, broken, or barely holding together. Stop it!
Instead of scrolling and stewing, talk to God. Tell Him, ‘Lord, I seeing people shining, but help me remember you have my shine too; probably still in processing!’ Because when it’s your turn, it will be your real turn. No filter, no fake smile, no return-to-sender blessings.
At the end of the day, it’s better to look a little messy and be peaceful than look perfect and be panicking. Trust God, mind yuh business, and drink yuh water.
