Thursday November 6th: Lost and Found
November 6, 2025
No fear, just fervent prayer!
November 6, 2025
Shanice Padmore
Ladies, gather your rosaries and your sense of humour, because we’re about to dive into the holy waters of Catholic dating in Trinidad and Tobago. I think since November is dedicated to the dead, it would be a good time to resuscitate this topic since no one else seems willing to. If you’ve ever whispered a novena for a husband, eyed the cute lector during Mass, or wondered if your future spouse might be hiding behind the incense smoke, then this one’s for you.
Finding a good Catholic Trinbagonian male is like winning the Lotto. We hear it happens, we just don’t know if the ‘good’ part is true or not. Trinbagonian Catholic men are a unique blend of reverence and rhythm. He might lead the rosary and then wine down low in Machel Monday. He’ll quote Scripture and Soca lyrics in the same breath. He’ll take you to Stations of the Cross and then for doubles after. Most of them love Jesus and Machel, Renegades and Destra, not necessarily in that order.
But if you find one, don’t be fooled by his pious exterior. Just because he wears a scapular doesn’t mean he’s ready for a sacramental commitment. (It usually just means he is close to his grandmother). You need to ask the hard questions: Like ‘how do you feel about sex before marriage?’ and ‘do you know who St Augustine is (hopefully he doesn’t think it’s the town).
Mass is the Catholic woman’s version of speed dating. We get one hour to scan the pews, assess the prospects, and still pay attention to the homily. It’s a delicate balance. Then, you spot him! There he is, wearing a nice shirt, and well-fitting pants and he genuflects with conviction. You start getting excited. But then he pulls out his phone during the Gospel….. red flag! Or worse! He leaves right after Communion. Sister, run! If he can’t commit to the final blessing, how will he commit to you?
Then there is ministry matchmaking. Joining a ministry is a strategic move. But you have to be very careful. I met my first Catholic boyfriend in Confirmation and the second in Youth 2000 but I digress In Ministry, not only do you serve the Lord, but you also get to mingle with eligible Catholic bachelors in their natural habitat. If you are a young adult and your parish has a young adult ministry, well, you get through. For everybody else ‘is salt’! Choir? Great for spotting sensitive types. Hospitality? You’ll meet the ones who are friendly and smile at strangers. (Your mother would love those). Bible study? High risk: 25 percent of them are married and came because their wives encouraged them, the next 25 per cent have a serious health issue and hope they can find healing by being more religious, and the other half are still recovering from seminary rejection. But the risky side of ministry crushes is that they are notorious for leading to ‘spiritual friendships’ that last ten years and end with him becoming a deacon and everyone thinks you are crying tears of joy!
If you are a really good Catholic girl with plenty of Catholic friends, at some point, you’ll turn to the saints—St Anne, St Joseph, even St Jude (patron of hopeless cases). You’ll light candles, pray and fast, say novenas and decades and decades of the rosary. Don’t worry! We’ve all done it. But remember saints are powerful intercessors, not matchmakers. If you ask St Anthony to “find you a man,” don’t be surprised if your ex shows up at your door with a box of KFC and asking you “ways de scene”!
Catholic social events like Harvests, Bazaars, bingos, retreats, and conferences are fertile ground for romantic possibility. You’ll meet men who know the difference between Vatican I and Vatican II, and who can quote Pope Leo without Googling.
But these events also attract the ‘Catholic Casanova’. You know him: he’s charming, he leads prayer, and he’s been “discerning marriage” with three women this year. Stay vigilant. If he compliments your theology before your personality, he’s probably memorised the Catechism for sport. I say, ‘Run!’
Eventually, you’ll get signs. A homily about marriage that hits too close. A random Bible verse that feels like a love letter. Or your auntie sends you a WhatsApp chain message that ends with “Forward this to 10 people and your husband will appear.” My advice is: Ignore the chain message but pay attention to the homily.
In the end, dear sisters, remember this: love is patient, love is kind, and sometimes love is hiding in the back pew wearing a WASA coverall or selling The Catholic News. Don’t lose hope. Keep praying, keep laughing, and keep showing up—because whether it’s through a retreat, a rosary group, or a chance encounter at a parish fundraiser, God’s timing is perfect.
And if all else fails, there’s always the next novena. Also don’t think any of this to heart, this is just me making light of my own singledom in the Catholic Church.
Maybe you have a funny story to tell in the comments
Photo by Jeremy Wong Weddings on Unsplash
