Called to walk, led to pilgrimage

By Michelle Lee

Ambassador, Catholic Media Services Ltd

My long-awaited travel had arrived. It sounds easy to reveal but waiting, watching and wondering, “Lord, when will it be my turn!” was my cry for many, many, many years.

A year and half ago, for one week while working at my desk, I kept hearing, “Go and walk.” That was my least favourite thing to do so I ignored the voice. One day, I heard it louder, “Get up and go and walk!” This time it was different. Well, I undertook the challenge and there was no turning back after that. I started loving it! Walking in Palmiste Park and Skinner Park made me fall in love with trees. So much so, I started to wish I was a tree only because I wanted to be more for everyone, as trees give life, provided fruit, shade, lumber, became a habitat and grew beautifully with deep and strong roots.

My walking duration increased with speed, and simultaneously, I prayed the rosary. Later in this post, you’ll see why walking was necessary.

Fast forward, off to pilgrimage with two priests, Frs Steve Ransome and Matthew Ragbir, group leader Desiree Dorant from Gospa’s Apostles of Peace (Gospa is the Croatian name for Our Lady) and 20 pilgrims. My first trip to Europe! It wasn’t a vacation, a shopping spree or a tourist attraction; it was for my soul. God knew what I needed the most and when. Timing is everything.

As Fr Robert Christo would say when we go on our staff retreats, connect the dots.

Anything is possible

Four Holy Doors in one day. Unbelievable! Everything seemed special as though God was granting extra blessings on this trip. August 5, we crossed the Holy Door of The Basilica of Saint Mary Major. Do you know that on August 5, in the year 358, snow fell as a message from Our Lady in the heat of summer right there.

That day was the anniversary of such a miracle.

For me, though, something happened as I entered the Holy Door of St Paul Outside the Walls. I looked around at the majestic beauty of the Basilica and immediate sorrow for sin filled my soul. I sobbed profusely and felt a deep love, understanding, renewal and forgiveness for us sinners who lived like Paul before his encounter with Jesus.

Saul as we know, before his name changed to Paul, was persecuting Christians. Yet, as he encountered His Lord, he changed. My heart understood there and then, with God’s love, anything is possible. I felt sad for those who are even more lost than I am and longed for their conversion and an encounter with God.

On our last day in Rome, at a Mass with our priests at the Church Trinita dei Monti (near the Spanish Steps), I had a revelation. In September 2023, a parishioner from St Benedict’s RC church dreamt that I was stabbed three times: In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I couldn’t grasp the magnitude of that dream, nor could the person explain it to me, but I was told God will reveal in time. Well, like many of us, I don’t even remember where I am driving to go at times, much less remember a dream in 2023 while in church in Rome, 2025!

However, as Fr Matthew mentioned the story of Teresa of Avila and her mystical experience called the ‘transverberation’ where an Angel pierced her heart multiple times causing a fiery golden spear which caused immense, spiritual agony yet utterly consumed by God’s love, I was instantly taken to the message from the dream and there and then my answer came.

My love for God far outweighs my suffering and my piercing. My soul longs for and loves God which makes it difficult for me to take the wide path of life. I desire for all to experience the exchange of this love of God in the soul instead of the ways of the world.

If God didn’t grant me the favours and provide me for all that was lacking in me, it would have been very difficult for me to survive my cross. A pilgrimage is not a bucket list but a need. It calls you. I had an image of God looking down and crying at what He was seeing. The things that hurt us, hurt Him more.

Whom can He use, if not us, to show His love and counteract the ills of this world. The piercing!

Look to the sky

What a deep spiritual journey! Torment and growth in one day, quite an oxymoron without a doubt. When I thought situations were laid to rest and healed in my soul, everything surfaced. Our Lady leaves no stone unturned. I was led to Confession one day at St James Church. That made all the difference! I thought I didn’t have to go because I did it just before the trip, but I was certainly mistaken. So many blessings and graces on this trip, too many to note.

From trembling hands and feeling the power of the Holy Spirit while touching a relic of St Faustina and St Anthony, viewing the body of St Carlo Acutis, praying at Fr Slavko’s grave for addicts of all kinds, asking St Charbel to help those who are trying to conceive, and many more.

Remember earlier I spoke about walking. Well, we climbed Apparition Hill twice and Cross Mountain, no easy feat but I made it in joy, prayerful and with some pep, too!

This is what I was prepared for a year and a half ago when I was instructed to walk. One of my grand surprises was running into the English Chaplain of St James Church. He passed me and then turned and said, “Where are my doubles?”

At that point, I walked to meet him and introduced myself. He asked if I heard about the miracle of the sun. Just before that I was sitting on a bench at the back of the church praying the rosary and asked the Blessed Mother to give me a sign of her presence. I heard, “Look to the sky.” I looked and looked and didn’t see anything.

However, now I am chatting with this priest. He prayed a Hail Mary with me and asked me if I could look into the sun. I said, ‘no.’ He then said, “Turn around!” I looked straight into the sun and there and then, it danced, throbbed, pulsated and colours circled what looked like an enlarged Host. I was in shock! I held on to him and cried. He said, “Our Lady is present!”

Brothers and sisters, she did say look to the sky. I have witnessed the miracle of the sun. I didn’t go looking but it found me!

I have walked so much in Medjugorje that I crave walking to Our Lady and saying the rosary. An unplanned occurrence took place where our group visited a visionary’s house where an apparition would have occurred.

Marija, the visionary, said that Our Lady looked at us twice and blessed us and those who we were praying for. What more can I ask for in this life but to be used and encourage others to never give up and stay close to Our Lady.