Be Kind

Melanie Greene.

There remains a persistent stigma surrounding young women between the ages of 18 to 23 who become pregnant. While society often encourages and idealises the notion of women first achieving certain milestones—such as marriage and personal stability—before starting a family, the reality is that life does not always unfold in such a linear or ideal way.

Yes, there are young women who are able to follow that traditional trajectory: completing their goals, entering marriage, and starting families between the widely accepted ages of 24 to 30. However, there are also women who, though legally adults and fully capable of becoming mothers, have children earlier—before achieving the socially endorsed life status or marital position.

What is particularly concerning is when other women—especially those who identify themselves as Christian—engage in gossip and judgement about the lives and choices of others, particularly in cases of early pregnancy. Such conversations are often laced with condescension and criticism, lacking the empathy and compassion that Christianity itself espouses.

Every individual walks a unique path. While it may be easy to make assumptions based on limited information, we seldom know the full scope of someone’s life circumstances. A young woman might become a mother at 18, and that child may bring her immeasurable joy. If she were to lose that child a few years later, the age at which she became pregnant would pale in comparison to the grief of that loss and the gratitude for the love she was able to give and receive during those formative years.

Having witnessed too many conversations among women who claim to live by Christian values but speak of others’ circumstances with scorn, I feel compelled to advocate for a shift in mindset. Instead of using our words to belittle or pass judgement, we should use them to uplift, support, and encourage one another—especially in times of vulnerability.

The call to kindness is crucial. At the same time, the Church also affirms God’s plan for sexuality, marriage, and family. We must hold both mercy and truth: avoiding judgement while also encouraging responsibility, chastity, and the secure setting of marriage for raising children.

If we are unable to offer kindness or support, then perhaps the most gracious act we can offer is silence. As the saying goes, “Drink your water and mind your business.”

Life is unpredictable, and none of us know what the future holds. In the words of Clare Pooley, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”