The Evolution of Self-Ageing with Grace

By Camille Ramdial-Cumberbatch

I was shaped by my life’s experiences which evolved through the decades—my 20s was characterised by fun, marriage and divorce. My 30s with changing career, travel, goal achievement and motherhood.  Then the challenging 40s was filled with dramatic life-changing experiences rocking my finances, my faith and focus on my future. And now in my 50s, life has again served me a major ‘lifequake’ with the death of my husband coupled with the mental, physical and emotional changes due to menopause.

“Change is the only constant” is real once we are alive and I must be open to the change ageing brings. As I reflect on this, some personal perspectives stand out to me, the most important being:

Age does bring reason

As I get older, I try to be more empathetic in my relationships with others, by not being too judgemental, but realising everyone is going through something in their life, just like me. Being human and imperfect, I still do react, but I try and encourage others to be kind or open to understanding a different perspective. It is NOT easy, believe me, but my own pain, failures or challenges have made me more patient with myself and others. So, not everyone who is smiling is well, and not everyone who is unfriendly or challenging to interact with, is difficult. They may be going through their own issues privately and your smile, understanding and support may have a positive impact on them.

Don’t stop dreaming

Dreams can come true not matter how old you are! I recently made the first step towards fulfilling my childhood dream of travelling to a destination, based on my Form 1 English Literature book, Men and Gods. A dream I declared at age 11 years is happening 45 years later! My 75-year-old sister, Didi always says, “Once you have breath, you have hope!” and I fully believe this as a Pilgrim of Hope. You are never too young or too old to establish goals or dream, so I say DECLARE what you want from the Lord as Luke 1:37 reinforces, “For with God, nothing will be impossible”.

Health is Wealth

Another true idiom, which you really start valuing as you age. My 50s is characterised by creaks, aches, tiredness, stiffness, deteriorating bone density, anaemia etc.  Self-care through proper diet, exercise, prayer and meditation become critical to your overall holistic wellness.  The term, “I am no spring chicken” is frequently spoken, as you come to terms with your changing reality, which forces you to make different choices for the first time in your life.  Mature children I have found, have most difficulty in realising their parents are ageing. We are now moving slower, mixing things up, not remembering, expecting more of them eg to be taken to medical appointments, having to help with cooking or cleaning etc.  It is emotionally difficult for them, as it was for me, seeing my independent mother deteriorate until her death. The transition is one for everyone in the family to talk about and adjust to, as best as they can.

I hope these insights are helpful to you on your journey. Hopefully, I am gifted with life to age and continue evolving into the future. Currently, I am excited, cautious, hopeful and faith-filled, praying and hoping for God’s presence and guidance along my journey. Carpe Diem!