When the journey feels too heavy…

By Fr Kenwyn Sylvester

Director of Vocations

The death of Don Matteo Balzano, a 35-year-old Italian priest, on July 5, was both tragic and sobering. It sent ripples through the Church, especially among those who, like him, are discerning or already living a life of service.

His story forces us to confront difficult but necessary questions, ones many of us, especially young people discerning priesthood or Religious life, are sometimes too afraid to voice: ‘What if I’m not strong enough? What if I burn out? What if I’m not really called?’

These are honest, human questions. But they do not mean you are not called. They may simply mean you are tired or in need of deeper rest. Not just physical rest, but spiritual rest.

Burnout is not just about being busy or exhausted. It is a kind of soul-weariness that creeps in quietly. The joy fades. Prayer feels dry. Even the best ministry begins to feel burdensome. And then you wonder, ‘Is this really where God is calling me?’

But know this: burnout does not mean you failed. Even the saints walked this path. St John of the Cross spoke of the “dark night of the soul”. St Teresa of Kolkata (Mother Teresa) endured long periods of spiritual dryness. And Jesus Himself wept in Gethsemane and often withdrew to be alone with His Father.

Holiness has never been about escaping struggle. It is about showing up even when it is hard.

Not long ago, I was in Adoration feeling overwhelmed. My days had been packed with ministry, meetings, and responsibilities that I could not keep up with. Guilt crept in, whispering, “You should be doing more. You’re not even praying properly.” But in that silence, I sensed the Lord speak gently to my heart: “You being here is enough. Sometimes, you just need to rest with Me. The journey is long.”

That moment reminded me of something I knew in theory but was not living. God is not asking for performance. He desires presence. He wants your heart, not your hustle.

I will never forget a formator in seminary who once told us, “The Church has enough work to keep you busy forever. But not all work is fruitful.” That struck me deeply.

It is easy to confuse busyness with holiness. But activity without intimacy with God leads to burnout, not fruitfulness. And that is something discerners especially need to remember. God’s first invitation is not to do something for Him, but to be with Him.

When we are weary, it is natural to question our calling. ‘If this is so hard, maybe I’m not called?’ That is a valid question, but one we should not rush to answer. Sometimes we need to pause and ask ourselves:

‘When I rest and pray, does peace return? Even in difficulty, do I still feel drawn to this path? Or is there a persistent unease, even when I step back?’

Burnout can be healed. Misalignment may need redirection. But both require silence, patience, and prayer. And neither should be faced alone.

If you are discerning, consider speaking with someone, a spiritual director, a trusted priest, or a Religious sister. Let God talk to you through these people.

That is why we must care for each other, especially those who are already serving. Priests, Religious, seminarians, and lay ministers are not machines. They need rest, prayer, support, and community, just like everyone else. Even Jesus welcomed the care of others. If the Son of God did not carry everything alone, why should we?

We are not meant to walk this journey alone, and neither are our priests. As we observe the Vocations Awareness Month in August, a time to honour the shepherds among us, consider reaching out.

Share a kind word. Offer a prayer. Let your priest know his sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. These small acts of appreciation may be exactly the encouragement he needs.

Remember, your vocation is not a job description; it is a love story. It is not first about doing more for God, but being with God, and from that relationship, being sent in love.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,” Jesus says, “and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28).

If you are feeling tired right now, do not give up. Do not abandon your call or your prayer. Just pause. Sit in the silence. Let the Lord meet you in your weariness.

Sometimes, the most faithful thing you can do is rest in His presence and let Him remind you: you are loved, you are seen, and you are not alone.

As you reflect on this, ask yourself gently:

‘Am I living from grace or pressure? When I rest in prayer, do I find peace returning? And how can I make more room for intimacy with God in my daily life?’

If you are discerning and need someone to talk to, the Office of Vocations is here to walk with you. Contact us at vocations@catholictt.org or (868) 499-0302 or (868) 473-9806. If you feel inspired to support the mission of the Office of Vocations as we accompany young men and women in their call to the priesthood and Religious life, consider donating via Republic Bank Acc. # 340 006 832 701.

Every contribution helps us continue this vital work of nurturing vocations in our Archdiocese.