Parenting in an AI world

Q: Archbishop J: Raising kids without tech—you serious?

Yes, I am very serious. If you know me, you know I’m a tech advocate. I see the value of technology in organising our lives and making things possible that were once unimaginable.

In 1995, I paid for one of the first Internet subscriptions in Trinidad. I’m an early adopter and a promoter of tech. I started Trinity Television and personally trained the early staff in all aspects of running the station.

For over 20 years, I was responsible for the Caribbean School of Catholic Communications. When ChatGPT first emerged, I used it immediately and even wrote a column on its brilliance—and its hallucinations. I love technology. I believe in it. And what I am saying now goes against my former stance.

Tech is not neutral—especially with children

Technology is not neutral when it comes to our children. It’s a billion-dollar industry designed to get children addicted and to keep them addicted—for profit. This is no longer speculative; it is now a fact that we must all confront.

Ask yourself: How much time do you spend on social media every day? Are you satisfied with your self-regulation? Or do you feel increasingly out of control: spending time on it you didn’t plan to, scrolling content that isn’t bad, but isn’t contributing to a better you, a happier you, or your overall vocation?

Let’s be honest: most of us are immersed in our devices more than we are comfortable with. We’re being pulled into the screen.

Now ask: If this is what’s happening to us as adults who grew up without tech, what chance do children have at self-regulation? I’m afraid we’re heading down a perilous road. And when it comes to our children, it’s even worse.

Would you leave cocaine on your child’s nightstand?

Imagine leaving cocaine or marijuana in your child’s bedroom. You wouldn’t. Yet we give our sons access to devices in private spaces, knowing pornography—scientifically shown to be as addictive as cocaine—is a major epidemic among boys. The neuroscience is clear.

In my June 15 column, I highlighted how 2012 marked a pivotal year: a documented decline in intelligence scores and a rise in self-harm and suicidal ideation. What changed? It was the first generation of teens growing up with smart devices.

Now we’re seeing new research on the impact of AI, particularly ChatGPT, on homework and learning, and the findings are alarming.

Pope Francis in Laudato Si says:

“…when media and the digital world become omnipresent, their influence can stop people from learning how to live wisely, to think deeply and to love generously.” This is, at its heart, a spiritual problem.

Your brain on ChatGPT: what the science says

A Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) study titled ‘Your Brain on ChatGPT’ divided 54 students into three groups: one using ChatGPT, one using Google, and one using no technology. Over several months, researchers recorded activity across 32 brain regions using electroencephalogram (EEG). The result? The ChatGPT users consistently underperformed in critical cognitive areas—rhetorical, linguistic, and behavioural.

And when they were later asked to complete the same assignments without ChatGPT, they floundered. When children rely on AI to do their thinking, they risk undermining their neural development.

Amplification and amputation

Marshall McLuhan, grandfather of media theory, once said: “Every new technology is an amplification of the human. Every new technology is an amputation of the human.”

Before cell phones, we could recall dozens of phone numbers. Now, how many do you know by heart? For adults with already-formed cognitive capacities, the risk is lower. But for children, these technologies may impede the development of deep, complex thinking altogether.

So perhaps AI won’t need to take over the world—we’ll hand over our thinking to it. That would be a tragedy for humanity.

Every family needs to have a ‘come to Jesus’ conversation about technology. Begin with the adults—your own use, your own boundaries. Lead with credibility. Then bring the children into the conversation.

At Baptism, the Church declared: “You are the first teachers of the faith. May you be the best of teachers.” Parents, you have the responsibility to decide what technology your children use, and for how long each day. How do we parent in an AI world? This question has consequences for your child, your family, and the nation.

Less tech, more play

Remember, it’s a twofold move: as you decrease tech, increase play, outdoor fun, creativity, and family engagement.

Jubilee Family Day on July 19 is a great, free opportunity. Bring the whole family. Organise a camp. Encourage sports. Plan playtime with your child’s friends. Make this holiday memorable—offline.

Strength in community: a parenting story

Years ago, a Canadian friend complained about how powerless he felt when his teenage daughter constantly pushed back against his views. I told him: “the media and entertainment industry had conspired against parents, giving children sophisticated tools to undermine parental authority.” I encouraged him to gather the parents of his daughter’s friends to have a conversation. He later said it was “magic”.

They realised they were all being played. Each child told their parents that the other parents were cool, more modern and more understanding. Once the parents spoke together, parenting became possible again.

I say this to you: if you want to parent a child in the AI generation, you need to be in communication with the parents of their friends. Agree on common rules, expectations, and experiences. This restores your authority and empowers your parenting.

Digital detox: a realistic start

Start simple: no devices at table during meals, or no devices after a particular hour. Some families set daily screen time limits by age. Others limit social media to weekends. Some use ‘dumb phones’ with call-only functions.

Consider a digital detox this holiday. It might sound extreme, but it has worked wonders for many families. There are guides to help with the transition.

When we were children, we’d get a ‘purge’ before school restarted. Today, what we need is a digital purge at the start and end of every school holiday.

For a practical guide, Claire Morell’s online article, ‘This Summer, Take a Family Digital Detox’. Morell, a mother of three, is also the author of The Tech Exit.

Key Message:

The tech industry is targeting you and your children, luring them into addiction. The effects are social, psychological, and spiritual. Parents, educators, and Church leaders must take this seriously. The consequences of digital oversaturation are already visible in rising mental health issues and declining academic performance

Action Step:

• As a family, begin the conversation about your tech habits.
• Then, meet with other parents in your child’s circle and talk openly.
• Decide together on the acceptable level of tech access.
• And most importantly: model it for your children.

Scripture for Reflection:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,”

(Rom 12:2).

Let us have the courage to parent with love, conviction, and wisdom in an age of distraction.