Let go the ego

By Daniel Francis

Do you know that defensive feeling you get when you’re challenged? That uncomfortable, annoying feeling when someone brings up something that you aren’t doing well?

What they’re saying is factual—yes—but it upsets you to your core. Because how dare they, right? In those moments, the quick and volatile response might be to strike back. And what better way to retaliate than by attacking their insecurities? Or maybe if they are challenging you on a topic that they themselves are not fullfilling to the max, you strike there.

You want to know why my stomach has been expanding lately? Well, have you looked in the mirror?

You’re questioning my faith because I don’t go to church often, how dare you? When was the last time you picked up your Bible?

When you allow your emotions to take control and dictate a reaction like that, you’re essentially handing the steering wheel over to your ego—and your ego will always drive you away from growth.

The truth is, the reason you get so defensive is because, deep down (or maybe not even that deep), you know you’re not doing enough in that area.

Recently, I’ve had a heightened awareness and gratitude for the people God has sent in my life—those who steer me on the right path. In reflecting on these individuals, I thought only of the pleasant interactions and disregarded the unpleasant interactions. Yet it was those unpleasant interactions that held the secret to my betterment.

I thought back on one of those not-so-pleasant interactions where I felt defensive, challenged, and I let my ego speak for me. It was a simple discussion about the Bible.

In my morning routine, I always set aside time for prayer and reading my Bible. My prayer time is always prioritised but sometimes I disregard or set aside less time to read the Bible.

I use the daily guided readings from the Bible app, which is good—but sometimes feels like the bare minimum. This loved one, on the other hand, dedicates a substantial amount of time daily towards not just reading the Bible, but deep diving into understanding it.

When she implied that I could be spending more time not only reading my Bible but trying to understand the Word better, I immediately felt attacked. My response? Excuses. I told her everyone’s journey is different. That I was taking baby steps. I already knew a lot about the Bible.

All plausible responses but they were the voice of my ego. God had sent a messenger—someone to tell me to dedicate more time to the Bible and His message, but my ego could’nt handle being seen as “not good enough.” So, I got defensive.

This is the challenge of the ego. It blocks your development if you allow it to take control. It’s important for us to be open to criticism and suggestions on what we can do better in all areas of life.

No one is perfect, so we should adopt a posture of openness to learning. That uncomfortable feeling of not knowing enough should not be met with defensiveness—but an eagerness to fill the gap.

Practice this posture. Reflect on those moments where that defensiveness, that ego appears. Digest what was happening in that interaction and make note of the work you truly need to do. Whether it’s reading your Bible more consistently, better consistency with diet/gym, etc.—don’t let ego lead the way.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping othermillennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

LinkedIn: Daniel Francis

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Website: www.ompublishing.org

Email: themillennialmind2020@gmail.com