Reclaiming childhood

Q: Archbishop J, what is happening with our children?

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds …” (Romans 12:2)

If you are a parent, teacher, or someone who interacts regularly with children or teens, you know something is not right. There has been a shift. Our children today do not have the resilience of previous generations. This is not merely anecdotal; it is deeply troubling and increasingly evident across our schools, families and communities.

A teacher recently shared with me that the girls in her school are shutting down in the face of the simplest challenge. At first, we assumed this was an aftershock of Covid-19. But the evidence now points elsewhere—to something deeper, more pervasive and more insidious.

Two opposing forces undermining childhood

Jonathan Haidt, the author of The Anxious Generation, did a deep dive into the topic in a lecture he gave at Princeton University titled: ‘Far Beyond Mental Health: What the New Phone-Based Life is Doing to Human Development, Social Capital, and Democracy’.

It is worth listening to the whole lecture. This article is taken directly from this lecture and is indebted to it for all key data and ideas.

Haidt outlines a profound insight into this crisis. He names two opposing forces that have devastated modern childhood: 1) We have overprotected our children from the real world, and 2) We have underprotected them in the digital world.

These forces have radically altered the developmental environment of today’s children. In shielding them from everyday experiences that build independence and resilience, and simultaneously exposing them to unfiltered digital influence, we have created a perfect storm.

A coddled generation

Haidt notes that childhood used to involve real-world autonomy. Many of us remember riding our bikes from age six or seven, with only one rule: “Be home before the streetlights come on.” We played freely, negotiated rules, resolved conflicts, and learned to regulate ourselves—all before puberty.

Today, that has changed. The age of independent play has risen to 10–14. Children are driven to and from structured activities, with adults present at every turn. What is missing is unstructured play with peers—play that is essential for building emotional intelligence, conflict resolution skills, and self-regulation.

This loss has consequences not only for individual children but for the health of democratic societies. The child who never learns to navigate relationships without adult supervision is more likely to enter adolescence and adulthood psychologically underdeveloped and emotionally fragile.

What the data is telling us

Haidt observed that by 2015, students entering college had become significantly different from those who had entered just three years prior. Gen Z, those born after 1996, showed far higher rates of anxiety, depression, and psychological distress. Interestingly, this trend is not seen across all age groups. It is specific to this generation. Why?

Girls, in particular, have been hardest hit. In the United States, among pre-teen girls, a 67 per cent rise in suicide rates was recorded between 2010 and 2013. That figure has since doubled to a 134 per cent increase. This is a global phenomenon. The same trends appear across Western societies. Cutting, suicidal ideation, and severe psychological episodes among girls are now common.

Here in Trinidad and Tobago, we conducted a pilot in four schools—two primary and two secondary. The results were staggering: 40 per cent of all students interviewed admitted to having active thoughts of suicide.

Pause and breathe—40 per cent. And that figure includes three boys’ schools. If we follow the US trends, the numbers among girls may be even higher.

The smartphone generation: a global crisis

When I first noticed these classroom issues, I assumed they were post-Covid effects. But the data says otherwise. In fact, while global suicide rates dropped during the pandemic, suicides among female teens rose. That contrast demands our attention.

The critical years of rewiring children’s brains, 2010 to 2015, coincided with the rise of smartphones, front-facing cameras, and high-speed internet access. During this period, social media apps became more immersive and addictive. A child born in 2000 would have been one of the first to enter adolescence with full access to digital technology.

CNN’s 2015 special, #Being13: Inside the Secret World of Teens, revealed how deeply online life had already infiltrated teenage experience. Bullying was more pervasive, and the emotional toll more severe. Now, ten years on, we are witnessing the delayed effects: an entire generation in developmental distress.

Boys, girls, and the loss of resilience

For girls, the issue is often comparison, anxiety, and social isolation driven by social media. For boys, it is increasingly about withdrawal into online worlds—gaming, pornography, and passive content consumption. Boys are no longer breaking bones from outdoor play because they’re simply not going outside.

The data is clear: the time Gen Z spends with real-life friends is steadily declining. This trend predates Covid-19 and continued through it. Social distancing began not with lockdowns, but with smartphones.

Haidt notes that when teens limit their social media use to 30–60 minutes a day, their mental health significantly improves. We must take this seriously.

Academic performance has also suffered. Between 1971 and 2012, American children made slow but steady progress. After 2012, scores began to fall, long before the pandemic.

The Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) index also shows a decline, starting around the same time. Meanwhile, overall happiness in young people has dropped significantly. Gen Z is now the least happy age group on the planet.

A soul problem, not just a mental one

This is not only a psychological or educational crisis, but also a spiritual one. Our children are not only anxious and addicted; they are losing the capacity to encounter God.

Digital life offers constant stimulation, dopamine hits, and endless distraction. How can stillness, silence, prayer, or sacramental life compete?

The Church cannot offer what the algorithms do—constant novelty and instant gratification. But we offer something far deeper: belonging, purpose and real love. The problem is, we are losing our children before they ever get the chance to experience it.

The digital world is not neutral. It is curated, addictive and profit-driven. The algorithms do not show you what your friends post; they show you what will keep you engaged—and divided. That has serious implications not only for childhood but for democracy itself.

Action steps—What we must do—Now

We cannot wait for social science to catch up. By then, it may be too late. We must act now, as parents, educators, Church leaders and policymakers.

Here are some concrete actions we must take:

1. Delay access to smartphones and social media. Raise the minimum age for social media use to 16. Delay smartphones until after 14. Encourage the use of basic phones without internet access for as long as possible.
2. Regulate technology at home and in schools. If technology is used in schools, it must be under strict guidelines. At home, limit usage to shared family spaces. No phones in bedrooms or bathrooms. Set daily screen time limits and enforce them consistently, and with love.
3. Reclaim outdoor play. Create regular opportunities for children to play outdoors—daily if possible. As holidays approach, encourage children to spend as much time as possible outside, engaging in activities that foster relationships, build confidence, and bring joy.
4. Form communities of support. Parents, teachers, youth group leaders—we cannot do this alone. Form networks of support and accountability. Share strategies, experiences, and tools. Our children need a consistent message from all sides.

Taking back childhood

Our boys and girls are hurting. They are calling out to us in silence, in withdrawal, in anxiety, in despair. The question is: will we respond?

If we are to raise a generation capable of deep faith, courageous leadership, and meaningful community, we must first win back the ground that has been lost. That means taking bold, counter-cultural steps to reclaim childhood.

This is our call. Let us rise to it—before it’s too late.

Scripture Reading:

John 10:10