Suffering in silence

By Daniel Francis

It’s May, so you know what that means. Maybe you forgot because there are so many different observances, but it’s Mental Health Awareness Month.

Mental Health Awareness Month is all about recognising how mental illness impacts not only your life but the lives of those around you.

Services and advocacy in the area are highlighted. For many who suffer from mental illnesses, they feel alone, and this month can be a beacon of hope to let them know that they are not alone and that there are many paths they can take to recovery.

I have always marvelled at the increased attention and development of the mental health awareness space. I remember when I was in school, students would go through different episodes and were simply deemed crazy.

Nowadays, we recognise the importance of identifying what an individual may be struggling with and addressing it properly.

I spoke with my god-sister the other day and she mentioned how many students in her class have therapists, a foreign notion when I was in school. I think we are a far cry from where we could be when it comes to people knowing their options when they think they have a mental illness, but as is very clear, we are much improved from the past and getting better as time passes.

I believe that as mental awareness increases, there should be an  increase in mental resilience and building a strong support system. However, and I am speaking more to men here, why don’t we share more?

As men, we have this tendency to go through hardship and bear it all in silence. We have the support systems, yet we don’t use them. We believe we will burden them by leaning on them, or we rationalise pushing through alone.

Support can be as simple as sharing our hardships and having our friends or family in that support system help us realise that we are not alone.

I’m guilty of this myself. Last year, I went through one of the most difficult periods in my life. For months, I was struggling like I had never struggled before, but I did not reach out to my main support system: my guy friends.

Funny enough, I spoke with them every single day, yet I never mentioned what I was going through. I felt like I would ruin the mood or burden them with my troubles. Yet logically, that’s why they are there, to support each other in times of trouble.

One evening, I got together with the guys months after my ordeal had concluded, and I told them everything. I told them there was never a good time to share what was going on, and I gave many other excuses for why I did not come to them for help.

I could see the disappointment on their faces because I robbed them of the opportunity to be there for me. Yet they were all understanding because they had all done the same. They each talked about difficult periods they went through recently, and we all realised how foolish we had all been.

The thought of burdening our friends made us bury our feelings and suffer in silence. Yet ironically, we were all going through our own troubles, and if we had just shared, we would have all been better for it. We would not have felt so alone and found a healthy outlet for our suffering.

It always seems to come back to this notion that, as men, we should be ‛strong’. This idea makes some simple and logical acts difficult or, for some, impossible. Simply sharing what you are going through could be the thing that helps alleviate a mental health incident. Those whom you trust are now aware of your situation and will keep a watchful eye to ensure that you feel supported.

This Mental Health Awareness Month, ask yourself if you are sharing with your community or with your support system. How much harm are you doing to yourself by suffering in silence?

When it comes to mental health, a situation like this could be life or death, so start sharing today. Lean on your support systems as hard as it may feel. These people care for you and want the best for you, so don’t rob them of the opportunity to be there for you, like I did with my friends.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping othermillennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

LinkedIn: Daniel Francis

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Email: themillennialmind2020@gmail.com