Things I Swore I’d Never Say to My Children—But Did Anyway

Camille Mc Millan Rambharat

There are so many things I swore I would never say to my children—the same things my siblings and I heard growing up. Not because our parents were bad people, but because it was a different time. Back then, ‘tough love’ and scare tactics were standard parenting tools.

One phrase stands out—especially after COVID: “Yah better put something in de back ah yah head—else you’d end up packing groceries or pumping gas.”

Yep, I’ve caught myself repeating those exact words—word for word—to our own children.

Here’s the thing: I went to school and put something in “de back ah meh head” precisely to avoid those career paths. But let me be clear—as a career coach and mentorship specialist, I know there’s nothing wrong with these jobs.

I’ve coached and mentored thousands of newcomers to Canada who needed a first job to gain ‘Canadian experience’ while working toward credential recognition, a career change, or returning to school to help pay the bills.

All three of our children worked in service jobs throughout high school, and the youngest still does part-time while attending university.

But the world has changed.

Today, I have a career and job I love that allows me to work from home most of the week, guess what? I have to pump my own gas. I not only cash my own groceries but bag them as well. I book most of my appointments online—doctor’s visits, lab work, haircuts, spa days, you name it.

And every time I’m at the gas station, I chuckle and say out loud to my dad—who has passed but whose presence I still feel: “Cecil boy, look at yah daughter pumping gas—the thing you swore I wouldn’t have to do if I went to school and learn.”  And yet, truth be told, I refuse to cash my own groceries. Not because I don’t know how, but because I don’t want to take away jobs from those who need them.

Are We Preparing Our Children and Grandchildren for the Future?

Many of the jobs we once looked down on are disappearing. Automation and artificial intelligence are replacing traditional service roles, and the nature of work is shifting. The traditional 9-to-5 career path is no longer the only option.

So, are we still telling them to “put something in de back ah deh head” for a world that no longer exists? Or are we teaching them critical thinking, entrepreneurship, problem-solving, and resilience—the real skills that will help them navigate an unpredictable future?

We tell children they need to work hard, yet we’re eliminating the very jobs that provided stepping stones for generations before them. In an era where people are encouraged to be self-sufficient, where does that leave those who rely on entry-level and service jobs to survive?