What we focus on, grows…

By Judy Joseph McSween

Time Out Specialist – Emotional Intelligence, Conversational Intelligence and Spiritual Intelligence Coach.

Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

In our continued journey towards increased self-awareness and self-management as a pathway to deepen our spiritual growth, we pause to experience the stillness and silence in which we become more attentive to the voice of self (ego and higher self), of others, and the Holy Spirit (source of guidance). We develop a deeper intimacy with the Holy Spirit, we begin to manifest the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Some of us may already be familiar with the ‘Parable of the Two Wolves’.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life: “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good–he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.” (The good wolf bears some semblance to the fruit of the Holy Spirit, doesn’t it?)

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “If you feed them right, they both win. You see, if I only choose to feed the white wolf, the black one will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and always fighting the white wolf. But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the white wolf is happy and we all win. For the black wolf has many qualities—tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking—that I have need of at times and that the white wolf lacks. But the white wolf has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognise what is in the best interest of all.

“You see, son, the white wolf needs the black wolf at his side. To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.

“Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance. Peace, my son, is the Cherokee mission in life. A man or a woman who has peace inside has everything. A man or a woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing. How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other or guide them both.”

–Cherokee Story

I share this story and encourage you to reflect on it, in the context of our daily conversations. We can choose to focus solely on what is good in our Church and our nation or we can choose to focus solely on the dis-eases. Neither being Pollyanna nor being the Prophet of Doom and Gloom, facilitate the societal conversion that is needed.

When we focus on what’s not working, cortisol levels rise and hamper our ability to see opportunities to build relationships, find solutions, to see the light.  Pollyanna and the Prophet need to work in tandem, the white wolf and the black wolf.

Reflection

1. a) What is the pattern of your daily conversations?
2. b) Do they focus on who and what is wrong with our Church and society?
3. c) What can you do differently to allow your conversations to bring life and light to our workspaces?

Contact Judy Joseph Mc Sween to schedule a personal or a group Time Out session judy@timeoutspecialist.com or call (1-868) 684-9827

Visit www.timeoutspecialist.com