Laughter in the midst of Loss
March 12, 2025
Archbishop Pantin – the Saint I knew
March 12, 2025
By Daniel Francis
It’s the time of Lent and I hope we have all chosen what we will give up or take on during this Lenten season.
I recall an experience I had with God during Ash Wednesday Mass. I was thinking about what I should give up for Lent or what I should take on. I had a few ideas in mind: give up alcohol, say the rosary each morning, take a cold shower each day or donate $10 each time I sinned. I already knew that I would end up choosing the last option.
I remember Lent being described as a time of sacrifice so we can echo the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert and enduring temptation from Satan. I knew that the last option would be the most difficult and through my sacrifice, I would keep close to my heart His suffering.
Yet I sat in church praying about it so God could tell me if this was the route I should take this Lent. Throughout Mass, I was unusually focused, which was great.
Our parish priest spoke about many things we should focus on but peculiarly, the word forgiveness came up and it jumped out to me. Once the ashes reached my forehead, everything became clear. God was speaking so clearly to me at that moment that I could not deny His direction.
He said to seek forgiveness and give forgiveness this Lenten period. Jokingly, I asked God if He was sure because I knew how difficult this task would be.
I felt sick from the time I heard His direction because there were those whom I believed wronged me so deeply that I could not imagine communicating with them, but I know God knows best and I begrudgingly started my journey of forgiveness.
I started by making a list of those from whom I would seek forgiveness and also to whom I would offer up forgiveness. The list was not particularly long but looking at the names on the list brought on some bad memories and many negative feelings.
I thought to myself, “Ok God, I see you.” My way of dealing with those I believed wronged me clearly left many unresolved feelings and lay a heavy burden on my heart and soul.
I began crafting the messages I would send to each individual while also preparing my mind to sincerely forgive these individuals for what they had done to me and to release myself from these negative feelings.
The entire time I crafted the messages, I felt sick to my stomach, a telling sign of the work I needed to be doing on myself.
Then came the moment to rip the Band-Aid off in one go. I sent the messages all at once, not giving myself a chance to hesitate. I thought writing the messages was difficult, but the anxiety that came from waiting for a reply was worse.
I began thinking about how I wish each person would respond to my message, what I would want them to say, and what feelings I hope it would bring forth. I wanted them to truly understand the suffering they had put me through so I could get the closure I wanted, but what happened next shocked me.
Some replies were good, and some were bad, but I realised some important things. One was that for me to release the negative energy and truly forgive, I needed to forget this expectation of how I wanted each person to respond.
Their response was part of the process, but the path of forgiveness felt more internal. I needed to reach a level of internal peace and acceptance where their responses didn’t change my internal composition.
Two was that there was a level of accountability for my actions that I had to come to terms with. We can paint people as villains, but we are all humans.
Though they may have wronged us, there will also typically be a degree of wrong and harm that we brought to the situation, and for which we need to ask forgiveness and hold ourselves accountable.
All in all, even though this journey of forgiveness will be explored throughout Lent, I see the great value and transformation in this exercise. There is a level of deep work that comes along with seeking and giving forgiveness. The release of negative emotions brings peace, though the path is initially turbulent and difficult to traverse.
God, thank You for directing me on this path and I hope my retelling of my experience encourages someone to follow the same transformational path of forgiveness this Lenten season.
Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.
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