Pop the balloon…

By Daniel Francis

For a couple of weeks now, I have been seeing clips of a show called Pop the Balloon or Find Love. Maybe you have seen some of the clips as well. If you have not, here is what the show is all about.

There is either a lineup of women or a lineup of men holding one balloon each. The host will bring out a man in front of the lineup of women or a woman for the lineup of men. The host will then ask the individual to provide a bit of feedback about themselves.

For example, what they do for work, what they like to do for fun, or what they are looking for in a partner. At any point in time, the men or women in the lineup can pop their balloon if they don’t like what they see or hear from the individual presented to them. The goal of the show is for the person presented in the lineup to be matched with one of the persons in the lineup.

The entertainment comes when a balloon is popped as the host will ask the person in the lineup why they popped their balloon, and they answer while the person is right in front of them.

If you’ve never seen the clips, you might have already guessed that there were many superficial reasons why balloons were popped, creating entertaining, albeit very cringeworthy moments. The show unfortunately highlighted the superficiality of my generation and the generation below mine as most of the participants were within the 25-35 age range.

Here are some of the reasons balloons were popped:

• Too short or too tall
• Hair length or style
• Job title
• Accent
• Too nerdy
• Too close to their family
• Liking cats vs liking dogs
• Dislike of certain TV shows or movies
• Using outdated technology
• Looking like a player

There was even one video I saw where more than half the balloons were popped when the individual said that their partner needs to have a solid relationship with God.

The show exposed something that most of us were already aware of: this generation tends towards the surface attributes instead of a person’s deeper qualities.

I always hear (and say) that the dating pool is murky because of the expectations that people have of their prospective partners and the lack of alignment on deeper qualities.

I believe that the ability to have too many options is killing our ability to choose commitment and not only choose commitment but choose it for the right reasons.

It seems that we have allowed culture to inform our courting rather than being guided by the gospel. God is not in the centre of our relationships or our choice of relationships so of course there will be turbulence and a positioning toward the superficial.

I think for most, it does not even occur to pray and discern what we should be looking for in a partner. It is not our first thought to turn to God here.

So, to me, if we are choosing partners mainly for superficial reasons, it speaks more to our relationship with God. There is a disconnect between what we see and yearn for and what God wants us to see and wants us to yearn for in a person.

We need to sit with God and ask Him for guidance. Open our eyes and hearts to what we should be looking for in a partner. Detach ourselves from the cultural norms and take a deeper look.

If we do this, we will focus less on having a good time and see the need behind having guided moments, meaning that we go beyond the superficial and have more of those deep conversations and ask those meaningful questions to truly get to know someone.

Then we can truly assess if this person is someone you want to be in covenant with. This will expose the red flags in the individual and even in ourselves early on and properly direct what happens next.

We are so enamoured with companionship that we choose the wrong relationships because we feel uncomfortable simply being alone with God.

A season spent alone with God does not mean you are lonely; it is simply that time of transitioning and preparation where you do the work on yourself to be ready for a proper relationship or to even begin to discern who is the right person for you.

As someone who is uncomfortable with stillness, I can attest to the difficulties of that season of alone time with God, but sometimes you need the time with God to help you grow in the ways He needs you to grow.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

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Email: themillennialmind2020@gmail.com