‘Bawling’ for deeper communion

By Fr Donald Chambers
Fr Donald Chambers of the Archdiocese of Kingston, Jamaica is the General Secretary of the Antilles Episcopal Conference.

“By the conclusion…everyone had something to say… There was a real sense of achievement, almost excitement, that we had worked together and shared our deep-seated concerns… There was a feeling that we were listening to the Holy Spirit in the person of our fellow parishioners” —(AEC Synod Synthesis).

Like a loaded donkey, we have become a “beast of burden” carrying many unresolved “deep-seated concerns”. I recall watching an Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) television series called Iyanla: Fix My Life.

Iyanla is a life coach and relationship expert who helps severely dysfunctional families to heal and reconcile. She instructed a female participant in one of her shows, “For every unresolved personal or family issue, place a rock in a bag and carry around that bag all day.” By the end of the day, she collapsed with the bag.

This powerful image teaches us that carrying a heavy load of “deep-seated concerns” is a massive obstacle to deeper communion with others. Imagine the relief, the freedom, the lightness that comes from unloading this burden.

I recently participated in a postgraduate course in Advanced Human Relationship Skills. In one class, we explored the skills of self-reflection. In a series of questions to aid in developing this skill, one enlightening question struck me deeply: “Is there anyone in your life with whom you are in a relationship that you might describe as ‘life-taking’. . . someone with whom you feel constrained, defensive, de-energised?”

The common denominated thread running through those persons I identified was that their unresolved and unexpressed “deep-seated concerns” were like locked doors preventing them from entering deeper communion with God and people.

What does it mean to commune with God? Communion with God is possible because God in Jesus Christ enters humanity’s ‘bacchanal,’ ‘ray-ray,’ ‘mess and muck,’ or confusion.

Though God enters deeper communion with us by sharing His whole being, God invites us to reciprocate by sharing our deep and intimate thoughts and feelings, that is, unloading our bag of stones or “deep-seated concerns.”

Writing in The Catholic News on May 12, 2024, Lauren Branker reflected on the birth of her son.

“The day Theo came into the world unfolded in a blur of unexpected events. Spotting turned into contractions, and suddenly, he was coming sooner than expected. The rush to the hospital, the emergency caesarean, it all happened so fast. I was overwhelmed, unable to process everything that was happening. I remember them bringing Theo to my side… I longed to hold him…I would admit, I expected an instant bond, but it didn’t happen that way…”.

God desires to bond with us permanently, but this often happens slowly or not at all due to our resistance, as depicted with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus (Lk 24:13–35), where the Risen Jesus models for us deep communion on the synodal journey.

Similar to the Risen Jesus’ work of communion with the Emmaus disciples, the synodal journey requires a lot of physical, communal, psychological, mental, and spiritual work to listen, dialogue, and discern with diverse people, cultures, experiences, dispositions, ideologies, etc.

First, there is growing awareness that within a communal context, Jesus’ words, “Come to me all you who are ladened and overburdened, and I will give you rest.  For my yoke is easy and my burden light,” become incarnate.

Second, we need the courage to initiate, mobilise, bring people together, and journey in a safe space and the patience to walk, not run.

Third, human relations skills and spiritual maturity are needed to listen deeply and allow space for people to speak courageously. Fourth, we need to help build that bridge between people’s expressed faith and their raw reality of life. Fifth, create safe and hospitable spaces to facilitate conversion and communion. Sixth, we must believe that the fruits of conversion and communion are not our doing but the action of the Holy Spirit. Seventh, the Church must be intentional in its synodal journeying.

When authentic conversion and communion occur, we hear this and similar testimony: “The Synod experience was like a rose garden. Roses represented the positive experiences, thorns stood for problems and obstacles faced, and the buds were potentials to explore.”

The critical fruit of the deeper communion with God and each other in the synodal journey is restoring relationships by surrendering the heavy bag of deep concerns that burdens us.

The Handbook states, “In the midst of this context, synodality represents the path by which the Church can be renewed by the action of the Holy Spirit, listening together to what God has to say to his people” (Handbook, 1.1). Let us allow ourselves to become vulnerable to Christ and each other as we journey towards deeper communion and renewal of the face of the Earth.