Prioritising self-care as a woman

By Camille Ramdial-Cumberbatch
Most times, women tend to place themselves at the bottom of the ladder when it comes to self-care. We take care of everyone around us first: our spouses, children, parents, siblings and friends. Those of us who are caregivers also tend to prioritise our loved ones over ourselves. We manage their wellness and reduce their stress levels, sometimes without being mindful of our own. Consequently, we can become challenged in maintaining our own physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial well-being.

Taking charge of our self-care therefore needs to become a priority. This is epitomised by the emergency instructions given when flying in a plane. The stewardess guides us to put on our oxygen masks first, in case of an emergency, so we can then be capable of helping someone else. This is an important life lesson, I believe. We first need to be healthy and well to best help others.

This lesson was reinforced to me this month, after a few things were revealed about my own wellness. I was diagnosed as being diabetic, as my A1C results deteriorated from 4 in 2022 to 6 in 2023, and unfortunately, is now at 8 in 2024. This is very concerning to me. I understand fully the consequences of diabetes, as it was a major health condition my husband Michael had before he passed away three months ago. It significantly contributed to a lot of his other health challenges, and I do not want to have to face those challenges myself.

Curious about the deterioration of my health condition, I asked my doctor if it could be stress-related. Her response was a clear ‘Yes!’. So, in managing Michael’s health as his sole caregiver for over five years, and the stress of this particularly in the past two years, my own health was negatively impacted. My doctor explained that one major contributor to my changing physical health condition was possibly the high level of the hormone Cortisol, which is generated by extended periods of high stress.

Given the many stressful roles women try to balance daily: spouse, mother, daughter, sister, professional, business owner, parishioner, volunteer etc, developing coping mechanisms to manage stress is critical to our overall well-being. Walking, yoga, meditation, praying, reading or having a strong support network can be helpful.

For me, diet and exercise are the two main solutions I have control over. To help me on my recovery journey, therefore, I engaged a dietitian for a meal plan and started walking this week, for the first time in over five years. This is not an easy choice; I love food and dislike exercise. However, I must take responsibility for my self-care moving forward if I want to improve my health condition. Look out for me participating in next year’s Catholic News’ Steps for Hope 5k Walk/Run, as my committee members fully encourage me in my walking efforts!

As women age, another life-changing aspect of womanhood that also impacts our wellness is menopause. This too contributed to the change in my physical, mental and emotional states over the past few years. The different stages of menopause create a plethora of issues. From my experience, empowering ourselves with

knowledge about its varied experiences can help us stay healthy and sane. For some of us, it’s like you become a new person and you don’t even know yourself. For me, it was a major change in my energy levels, weight, brain acuity, body heat and irritability levels. Based on my changed response to situations, Mike would jokingly say, “Like Peri in the house,” for the times I emotionally reacted during the peri-menopausal stage.

Thankfully, I have a strong support network of female friends who are the same age. We help each other by sharing stories, medical information and recommendations as we go through our trials. It is very encouraging knowing you are not the only person who can’t remember where you put things or need a fan and air conditioning to sleep comfortably through the night.

Hopefully, my sharing has inspired you to take charge of your self-care. I am now prioritising taking care of ME! To love, laugh, and live the long, healthy and happy life Mike would want for me.