Lethal cocktail – bad parenting, inadequate education, rogue policing

Q: Archbishop J, how do we live with this high crime in T&T, Pt 3?

For the last few weeks, I have been reflecting on crime in our nation. As we have seen, crime stems from a complex web of interrelated causes that have gone unchecked for a long time. My thesis is that crime is a symptom, not a cause. Examine the root causes: resolve the problem effectively. We traced some of the local and international sources: the glorification of lifestyle and the gun, drug, and human trafficking industry. This industry can corrupt officials in a small island state. Caricom defines crime as a public health issue in our region.

But, most importantly, we saw that crime has left the nation in a state of spiritual desolation and that focusing on God and improving our spiritual practices are key to countering this desolation.

This week, I want to highlight three causes of crime: bad parenting, an inadequate education system, and rogue policing. These three are intertwined and together compound the problem.

Inappropriate parenting

Parenting in Trinidad and Tobago could be divided into three broad categories: (1) The need to instil good character and discipline; (2) Parents acting as best friends of their children and not as parents. They spoil them, fearing their kids will dislike them; (3) Parents who adopt a violent parenting style. They see violence as the best response to emotional turmoil. Minor infractions end in verbal, physical, and psychological abuse. These parents are not self-regulated and lose control of their children, who also lack regulation. Remember, there are no bad children; there is inadequate parenting.

Years ago, in Gonzales, a lieutenant in a gang fired off a gun after we agreed to a ceasefire. I pressed him hard on why he did this. He said: “I had to send a message.” The message was: “I am a big man, and you can’t disrespect me.” I was shocked. The gun was a tool of communication. With no words and no control, the gun was the best way to communicate hard emotions. Poor education and poor parenting are a lethal cocktail.

At the other end of the social ladder, I know some privileged youth who would rent a house and grow marijuana in wealthy communities. Deregulation is not the source of abuse. Being spoiled and lacking boundaries leads to it.

This child of privilege believes that everything comes on a platter. White-collar crime is still a crime. The privileging of lifestyle over character is a cancer in our society, eating at the soul of our people. This quenches the real inner drive to become a better version of oneself.

Education

Only some children need or are capable of a grammar school education. Our brightest children are as good as the best anywhere in the world. These children come from every social class and race. But society stacks the deck against the poor. The rich can afford private education and tutors. They will get into their chosen secondary school or pay for a private school. The poor do not have this luxury.

Consider children in a ‘hotspot’ community who attend school in a nearby, under-resourced area. Imagine if the parenting at home is emotional, physical, and verbal abuse.

Think of a boy from this background sitting in a mixed classroom. The girls find it possible to focus on their work; he has little emotional control and can’t sit still. To this, add trauma through the loss of a loved one to violence; add a learning difficulty, and you have a lethal cocktail.

‘Snake Eye’, a gang leader from Upper Gonzales many years ago, described this to me in great detail. He spent more time in the doorway or outside the class than in the classroom. Since he was seen as bad, he learned to lead others into badness. He learned to become a gang leader in school.

Boys’ learning patterns diverge from those of girls. They learn at a different rate and in a different way. Many teachers in the classroom treat boys as defective girls. They are not. They need a different environment to learn. Their focus is very different from girls’. Many boys need a more hands-on learning environment. They need intense focus for shorter periods and movement as part of learning.

The boy, lacking self-regulation, cannot sit still in the classroom for hours and learn. If he feels inferior because the girls are excelling, it shames him. And if he has already experienced trauma, what is your prediction for him? This describes too many of our boys from poor neighbourhoods.

Violent parenting and inadequate teacher methods are a most dangerous combination. They create rogue elements in our society. We have to see the connection if we want to create a peaceful society.

Every school in a hotspot community needs four things: (1) A parenting programme for teachers and parents. It should teach them to discipline by helping the child learn self-control. (2) Trauma intervention should be provided for the entire staff, all the children, and some parents. (3) Meditation in the morning, and (4) praying the Examen in the afternoon.

Tim Conway’s NOW programme helps children reconnect their neural pathways and reignite learning. This is an investment we need to make now for the next generation.

Rogue policing

A few years ago, I was at Sea Lots on a property owned by the Church. I was with a community member who cut the grass around the building. The tactical squad came in with guns pointed at both of us. They tried to separate us, and the young man spoke louder and louder to ensure we were not separated.

They wanted to search us. I asked for their warrant, and they tried to silence me. I told them I was the Archbishop of Port of Spain; it made no difference. Guns with a red laser pointed at us at all times. There was no respect, only brute force and intimidation with large guns. They did not ask any questions. The episode was illegal and traumatising.

Remember the man who fell off the chair in a police station? In the middle of the night, police stormed his home. The man opened the door, and they then beat him to a pulp on his porch in front of his wife and 12-year-old child. The wife kept asking what this was about. They accused him of being involved in a kidnapping. It was his car that was used. She said he rented the vehicle and produced the evidence, but they had beaten him too severely by then, so they took him with them. The report was he fell off a chair in the police station and died.

Recently, the police were doing an activity in a community where we have a home for young women. A supervisor, who was about to leave the house, saw the police and returned. Two unidentified men started banging on the gate. Then they jumped the fence and banged on the door. The residents asked for their IDs. They broke four doors, showed no identification, and had no warrant. They made no apology. They employed aggressive strength in a shelter for vulnerable women and caused even deeper trauma.

Interconnections

We need to see inappropriate parenting, inadequate education and rogue policing as one interconnected reality perpetuating violence. Each of these three adds to the crime pandemic.

Disrespect by the police makes young citizens feel powerless. Abusive parents and outdated educational methods contribute to a violent society, creating havoc.

We must unite nationwide to equip parents to foster our children’s emotional well-being. We need to change the educational model in our hotspots. This will require, among other things, implementing the four programmes highlighted earlier, which will contribute to crime reduction over the next generation, in significant ways.

Key message:

Families, schools, and governments pass violence or peace down through generations. To have a peaceful nation, we must change this. The family, school, and community must learn to respect each person. Then, we will build peace in our nation.

Action Step:

We must review our language, attitude, and ways of relating to others. Are we passing on peace or vulnerability, shame, powerlessness, and thus violence? Meditate every day.

Scripture reading:

Mt 5:38–48

QUOTE:

I asked for their warrant, and they tried to silence me. I told them I was the Archbishop of Port of Spain; it made no difference. Guns with a red laser pointed at us at all times. There was no respect, only brute force and intimidation with large guns.