I’m a Millennial – am I selfish or self-focused?

By Daniel Francis

I have heard all the negative talk about Millennials. Writing books about Millennials has helped me analyse how we think, feel, and behave.

A big narrative that is out there is that we have extreme views and hold extreme positions.

I was recently sent a video where a woman of Millennial age explained that she escaped 80 per cent of life’s problems by not having children or not having a man in her life.

I have even seen a recent video of people complaining that we do not want to work in the same way as the generations above us, we talk back, we are entitled and the list goes on and on.

I think it is worth exploring the world as seen from our eyes and maybe there will be some clarity on why we are seen in this light. We were born and developed in a world where we were told many things and promised many things but what we got was completely different.

Imagine you go through school thinking everything you are learning will adequately and directly prepare you for the world. Then you are set out into the world and what you see is completely foreign. You are now left in a position to sink or swim; put in survival mode from the beginning.

The generations that raised us wanted the best for us. They prayed that we would not experience the hardships that they did, or they pushed for us to achieve the dreams that they could not.

Yet, that would have started us down a particular path in life. With a certain level of sheltering or for some they were misguided, and we have ended up in our current predicament.

We see the misalignment in all the different areas of our lives. Most struggle with money, mental health, and other fundamental facets of being a contributing individual in society. We learned that ‘adulting’ was hard and was not the dream of freedom that we were told it would be, so we became selfish.

Selfish is what we are sometimes called but the way I look at it is we are more self-focused. We are more concerned with our needs and desires and unwilling to compromise for a life where we believe we will be in a state of added discomfort.

Thinking back to the video of the woman who said she escaped 80 per cent of life’s problems by not having children or having a man in her life, I get it. You have finally escaped survival mode and are not in a constant battle to just live. Your finances are in order, you have the freedom to come and go as you please and there are no restrictions on your movement. You don’t have the same stresses that you see others around you having.

To claw your way to that position I can see why someone would not want to knowingly add anything additional to their plate like a child.

We are a generation with different priorities born from a place of wanting to protect our freedom and our peace. Experience has taught us that we are not promised anything so we choose freedom where we can get it.

This leads to what may be viewed as holding extreme positions, and the shifting of priorities out of what is seen and accepted as the ‘norm.’ We are selfish but I also worry that we miss a bit of perspective because we have become so self-focused.

When life has bruised you, it can be easy to associate one aspect of life as bad and avoid it. I have written about this many times, but it is typically through discomfort that we grow. If you avoid discomfort, you may find yourself in a level of stagnancy.

In efforts to protect our peace and our freedom, we may be robbing ourselves of greater or His plan for us. This also highlights where we must strive to be better to meet the harsh terrain.

God wants us to be our best selves and through His grace, we can ride any storm. We must be truly able to put our trust in Him. This means coming to terms with all the things for which we are positioned.

Living pay cheque to pay cheque means that you need to evaluate your finances and spending habits. An imbalance in your mood and mental health means that you need to take a close look at your state of mind and how much you pour into your own cup.

Having a belief that there is no good to come from a relationship means that you may have not properly healed from past negative experiences. A weak grasp of your spirituality may mean you need to invest more time with God.

I am not saying that there are not people out there that want what they want and that’s just legitimately what they want. I am only saying to take a true look at yourself and your life.

See if the life you are living is what you want and what God wants for you.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

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Email: themillennialmind2020@gmail.com