Men, create your peace

By Daniel Francis

June is Men’s Mental Health Month. This annual observance helps raise awareness about the importance of mental health among men. The primary focus is to create an environment for men to speak up and ask for help when they are having mental health issues.

As men, we tend to bottle up our feelings and do not easily ask for help. For most, we are a product of our environment that raises us to be ‘strong’ and a byproduct of that ‘strength’ is a tendency away from talking about our struggles and asking for help as it can be perceived as ‘weakness’.

While reflecting on the significance of this month, my mind recalled a conversation I had with a male business partner. We were discussing the issues we were having with a recent client.

After we thoroughly dissected what went wrong and right with the interaction, we acknowledged where we were wrong in how we dealt with the client and what they did that made the whole experience very difficult for us.

I told my business partner flat out: we should not take on clients like that in the future.

From the analysis of the experience, it was clear that we work best with a certain type of client, and we should stick with clients that fit that profile. I went on to tell him that working with anyone outside of the set profile would be an unnecessary headache we do not need.

My business partner agreed and commended me on my “peace-no-headache” approach. He was referring to my overall inclination to separate myself from things, people, and activities that disturb my peace.

In early 2023, I made it my business to create as much distance from anything that disturbed my peace. When I say disturb my peace, I mean anything that, as we would say, brought on ‘bad vibes’ or ‘bad energy’.

Up until that point last year, I was in a state of heavy anxiety and stress. I was losing sleep, and I could feel my mental health waning each day. I thought to myself that this could not continue.

I took a moment to reflect on what aspects of my life were bringing me so much imbalance. I picked up a pen and began listing out all the things in my life that disturbed my peace.

One hour later, I had made a list of the people, organisations, activities, and much more that always left me feeling uneasy. The list also consisted of things that added to my mental health that I had been neglecting like my relationship with God.

I made a tough decision to remove all these things from my life to preserve my mental health and to add more of the things that brought me peace. It was a tough decision because some of these organisations I had been pouring into for years.

Some of the people were family and close friends. Some of the activities were how I had fun. However, it was clear that if I wanted to feel some semblance of peace and put my mental health first, I had to do this.

So I began trimming. People were angry. Some were confused and some thought I was giving up on great opportunities and for what? For me who had prioritised my mental health, I was doing it for something of great importance. After the maelstrom had passed something amazing happened, the waters of my mind were left clear and calm. I realised this was the peace for which I had been yearning.

As the weeks passed, I began filling my time with activities and people who brought additional peace to my life. What were once anxiety-induced days had become relaxed, well-paced, and calmer days. I found joy in old hobbies. Rekindled old friendships and the best part was my mood had significantly improved.

My business partner recognised all this, and he has been trying to mimic my new approach because he was experiencing his own set of mental turbulence. Men, I call on you this month to reflect on what in your life is robbing you of your peace. Not only that but reflect on what in your life you have been neglecting that typically adds positively to your mental health.

Ask God for guidance to identify the changes you need to make and the strength and courage to make them. Your mental health is too important to jeopardise for any person, thing, or activity. Be blessed and create your peace.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

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Email: themillennialmind2020@gmail.com