Grounded

Interview with Judy Joseph Mc Sween, Organisation Development Consultant and Christian Meditation teacher

Q: Can you give us a little bit about your background?

I was born and bred in Petit Valley. In those days, houses had no fences, windows had no burglar proof, doors were left unlocked during the day and our parents had no fear of us heading into the river to play games and catch fish, mainly ‘wabine’ (guabine), tadpoles and any ornamental fish that may have been washed down the drains and into the river during heavy rains.

In those days, there was real community. I took pride in knowing all our neighbours in the seven streets of our residential “alcove” who I will add were of varied ethnicities.

Our free time was spent riding bicycles, pitching marbles, playing cricket, kicking football, and reading comic books. Notice I say our and then list activities, some of which were then primarily associated with boys.

In our neighbourhood the boys and girls limed together and to lime with the boys, you had to do “boy things”, so the boys taught us how to play football and cricket. I believe it paid off for me in my adult life when I began to socialise and entered my predominantly male work environment.

Q: What schools did you attend?   

I attended Mucurapo Girls’ RC School in St James, another location that is filled with pleasant memories. My last three years in Mucurapo Girls’ were spent in the care and attention of Ms Velma Redhead.

She was a strict teacher, filled with love and compassion for her students.  Fortunately, I was a diligent student, so I rarely if ever saw her harsh side –I never got licks from her.

I recall that there was a group of six of us that were her “special students”. We all passed for St Joseph’s Convent (SJC) Port of Spain.

SJC heralded a new era in my life. It was 1970. I was so proud to have entered directly into Form 2 and therefore being able to write GCE (General Certificate of Education) in four years. It was a period of many changes – my parents were divorced, I discovered that persons who were divorced are scorned, I discovered that there were other classes besides middle class and that they didn’t socialise like we the middle class did, I discovered race … it was the year of the Black Power revolution.

I also discovered that for some, enjoying the simple pleasures of life was more important than focusing on differences and segregation. My Convent life was filled with connecting through like interests—hockey, rounders, concerts, parties, trips down the islands, admiring the guys across the road (St Mary’s).  During my years as a student in London, interacting with people of diverse ethnicities, gender orientations and religious beliefs broadened my perspective on life. I saw people experience severe racial discrimination in London. My social circle was filled with people who appreciated diversity.

Q: Were you particularly spiritual when you were growing up? 

You would think that having attended both primary and secondary Catholic schools I would be, well no. I attended Mass on Sundays. I recall long after my father was not around to drive us to church, I began rounding up a couple neighbourhood friends to walk to St Finbar’s on a Sunday morning.

In those days, ‘Finbars’ was what I affectionately call a “green galvanise cowshed”. I recall the many fundraising harvests that were held to enable the construction of the current structure.

Attending Mass on a Sunday, I think, was more of a habit than anything else.  Even as a student at university in England, I would take the solo walk to the nearby church, cold as it was even during summer.

I guess unconsciously He (God) and I were always having a conversation.

There was though a time in my life when I did call out to God, asking Him to shout to me and let me know what He wanted me to do with my life, because I was not hearing Him.

I was around 38 at the time and was in deep need of clarity in direction. It was just after that cry that I was exposed to my first meditation session.  Interestingly it coincided with my daughter’s Confirmation. I recall being designated to speak on behalf of the parents.

The night before Confirmation found me stranded in Portland Airport, flights grounded, possibilities of missed connections. I had a conversation with God. I said that I was not making any alternative arrangement. He had to get me back to Trinidad in time for my daughter’s Confirmation.

The short version of the story is that my flight eventually was allowed to leave albeit late and my connection had been delayed due to “technical difficulties”.  I eventually arrived in Trinidad minus luggage. I used this experience of answered prayer as my sharing at the Confirmation ceremony.

Q: What was your first introduction to Christian Meditation?

I was in training to become an appropriately qualified Organisation Development Consultant. The scene was a small town the size of a T-junction, that really had to be behind God’s back.

The inn I remained at was bordered by a lake, a golf course, a forest, and part of the T-junction. It was Bethel, Maine. Each morning of the training, there was an optional “sunrise session”.

This morning, the facilitators introduced us to a guided meditation. At the end of the experience, I felt compelled to return to Trinidad and seek out a local meditation community in my religious tradition.

Each number I called in our archdiocese gave the same response – a lengthy silence at the other end of the line, followed by recommendations for upcoming retreats. Just hearing the reactions to the question and the recommendations, I knew for certain that I was not being pointed in the right direction.

After much searching, I encountered a local Buddhist community and spent a Sunday afternoon meditating with them. The Buddhist Master advised that I should not engage in several traditions of meditation practice. When I found the one that appealed to me, stick with it.

About two weeks later I connected with Sr Ruth Montrichard SJC, and I was invited to meditate with her Christian Meditation Group. I recall everyone in the group had white hair. I was the youngest person in the room. At the end of that first session, I experienced a tremendous sense of peace. I felt that I had found a home. That was 2004.

Q: How did you move from practitioner to teacher of Christian Meditation?

One evening after our weekly group meditation session, Sr Ruth approached me and said that she wanted me to form a group. I was in shock. I went home and immediately contacted my Spiritual Director. I said to her, “that nun wants me to start a meditation group”.

To some this phrase might sound rude, however it was an acknowledgement that when a nun approached a Convent girl and made a request, “no” was not an option.

My Spiritual Director was so calm. She said, “do you think that you are not worthy?” My immediate response was “that’s correct”. She said “go ahead and form it. If it is of God, it will last. If it isn’t, it will fall apart.”

Well, we are now in 2023. The group moved from my home to the church at the request of Fr Leo Donavan OP.  For me this was a major decision, since the group was comprised of my friends and Fr Donavan would join us.

I paused and asked myself why was I hosting a meditation group and what was required to reach more people. The response was that I wanted to reach as many persons as possible and no, I did not necessarily want Tom, Dick, and Harry in my home.

So, the Lighthouse Christian Meditation Group was relocated to the Church of Nativity. We never missed a session during Covid. We migrated online and added two additional sessions in response to the crisis in St Vincent – the eruption of the volcano.

Over the years Sr Ruth and I had journeyed up the islands introducing Christian Meditation.

Q: How would you address those who are sceptical, and say it is not or should not be part of Catholic practice?

My personal experience is that my faith has been strengthened through the practice, my relationship with the Trinitarian God has become more intimate. I honestly do not believe that this would have happened in the absence of my daily meditation practice.

I appreciate that individuals may have different and preferred spiritualities and that some may be averse to contemplative prayer. I know what works for me and it is grounded in the traditions of the Desert Monks and Nuns, and I know that both past and modern-day mystics advocate the balance between contemplation and action.

I know the transformative impact that meditation has had on my life and unlike Fr John Main (founder of the World Community for Christian Meditation) who gave up meditation practice for a few years at the behest of his novice master, I will not be giving up my meditation practice, when I am fully aware of the extent to which it facilitates deepening my relationship with God and with others … the vertical and horizontal dimensions of spirituality.

Q: Can this practice be especially useful for Advent?

My first silent retreat – 7 days of silence, was taken just before Advent. That retreat, like our daily meditation allowed space to be silent and listen to the voice within for direction on how best to be alert, aware, listen and prepared  for the Second Coming.

I recall walking along a deer trail at the retreat centre and when I was almost at the end asking God “how is it that I can walk an entire deer trail without spotting a single deer”. As I paused, I became aware of pairs of eyes watching me through the vegetation – the deer.

With it brought the experiential understanding that God is always with us. It is we who move away from and/or are too distracted to be aware of His presence.

I close with two quotes from Pope Francis. “Advent invites us to a commitment to vigilance, looking beyond ourselves, expanding our mind and heart in order to open ourselves up to the needs of people, of brothers and sisters, and to the desire for a new world.” – Pope Francis, Angelus, 2018.

“Contemplatives teach us the joy of living only for Him through asceticism, abandonment, and fidelity,” he noted, adding that in a world inundated with noise and distractions, there is a dire need for silence in contemplation before the Lord. (Pope Francis, International Congress on Venerable María de Jesús de Ágreda, Spain.)