Beware of ‘situationships’ – seek truth and genuine connection

By Daniel Francis

In a world where relationships have evolved to take various forms, the concept of ‘situationships’ has emerged as a shadowy realm of undefined romantic and sexual connections.

A ‘situationship’, by definition, lacks the commitment and oftentimes the transparent communication that forms the cornerstones of healthy companionship, yet it has found its way into the lives of many, fuelled by a generation’s acceptance of placeholder relationships.

This trend, however, stands in stark contrast to the teachings of the Catholic faith, which emphasises truth, commitment, and sincere connection.

The allure of situationships often stems from a complex web of desires – the fear of loneliness, the need for constant stimulation, or the allure of fleeting pleasures.

But within this gray area lies a poignant truth: situationships are not of God. They are born from a lack of commitment and are often driven by the sinful impulses of lust, manipulation, and other toxic tendencies. The very essence of situationships contradicts the sanctity of love that Christ teaches us to cultivate. Also, I am not speaking from any pedestal. I have engaged in situationships in the past myself so if anyone is receiving a scolding here, it is me.

Consider the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:12, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” In relationships, these “strands” signify the intertwining of two souls with a common purpose, bound by commitment and love.

In situationships, however, the strands are frayed, weakened by uncertainty, and lacking the spiritual foundation that only genuine commitment can provide. Through God, relationships can flourish, becoming stronger and more fulfilling than the temporary allure of situationships.

As a man, I feel compelled to address the role that honesty and accountability play in situationships. Far too often, men are guilty of perpetuating these undefined connections, leading women down a path of false hope while seeking only to satisfy their desires.

This deceit is far from the truth that Christ calls us to embody. The words of our Saviour urge us to be honest, for withholding the truth is, in itself, a form of deception.

If you find yourself entangled in a situationship, it’s crucial to examine your motivations with utmost sincerity. Are you driven by fear, boredom, or lust?

It’s time to face these questions head-on, seeking guidance from God and recognising that the harm caused by such arrangements may outweigh any perceived benefits.

Our current culture often confuses attention and pleasure with genuine love and companionship. But if God’s presence isn’t felt within the interactions, we’re simply chasing after the desires of the flesh, leading us further from His divine plan for us.

Companionship should not involve using another person to fulfil our selfish desires; it should be a partnership that fosters growth, support, and shared faith.

The prevalence of situationships in our community can be traced back to cultural norms and the absence of open communication. The ambiguous stages of courting and relationships here create an environment where intentions are often concealed under the guise of genuine interest.

It’s time for us to encourage honesty, transparency, and introspection, fostering connections that align with God’s love.

When in doubt, turn to prayer. The path to a fulfilling relationship is paved with trust in God’s plan. The Sacrament of Marriage exemplifies the importance of growing together in faith. By seeking His guidance, couples can build relationships that are rooted in love, commitment, and shared spirituality.

The emotional toll of situationships cannot be underestimated. The uncertain terrain of a situationship can distort our ability to engage in a healthy, nurturing relationship when the time comes. It can lead to confusion, insecurity, and emotional turbulence, hindering our capacity for authentic connection.

Let us remember that situationships, while they might seem convenient, do not align with the teachings of our faith. As Catholics, we are called to uphold the principles of commitment, truth, and genuine love.

While some may argue that both parties consent to these arrangements, the truth remains that situationships lack the divine purpose that should guide our unions.

In a world that celebrates quick fixes and temporary pleasures, let us strive for relationships that mirror the eternal love of Christ.

Embrace the commitment, honesty, and vulnerability that true companionship demands. Only then can we build relationships that stand the test of time and flourish under the watchful eye of our Creator.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential.

He is also a Self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

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