Are you masculine enough?

By Daniel Francis

For a while now I have been seeing this rhetoric going around about a woman needing a certain amount of masculine energy to feel safe enough to express their feminine energy. I see posts on social media talking about it and I have had many conversations with women on this topic.

As a man when I hear this topic for some reason, I cannot help but feel somewhat attacked. Attacked because at first glance the conversation seems like a way for women to tell men that they are not good enough or masculine enough for them. I needed to explore this more because it was striking a chord.

On thinking about this topic more, my mind went to the natural transition that occurs when a new generation is met with old generation foundations.

In the past there existed these unspoken gender roles and expectations. Men were seen as the breadwinners, the protectors, and the leaders of the household. Women were seen as caregivers, holding supportive roles, and tended to be housewives.

As time passed and life became more expensive it became more necessary for both partners to work to sustain the family. Not only that but women fought for more rights and the path to equitable change began.

With that change came the change in women. The creation of “the strong, independent woman” who worked extremely hard to provide for themselves because they now have more options, the means, and the drive to achieve more.

With the creation of that new persona came that shift in feminine energy. Women were now taking on what was perceived to be more masculine energy by not only providing for themselves in many areas but also believing that they do not necessarily need a man in their life to provide for them. If, however, they do find a man, he will need to, as they say, “Come good!”.

I believe this shift in women’s personas has got us to this current junction. This shift in women requires that men now have to step up. If women are now accustomed to providing for themselves and it creates this high masculine energy, it makes sense that we as men now have to elevate to meet this new standard.

In speaking with many women, they explain that they want a man whose masculine energy makes them feel more comfortable with letting go of the constant need to provide for themselves if only for a moment. Not saying that they want a man to do everything for them, but they simply want to feel safe and secure.

My understanding of this is that we men need to elevate our value. This topic made me feel uncomfortable because it essentially points out our weaknesses as men.

If we know we cannot provide in the way we want to provide, it highlights an area we need to improve and admitting weakness is uncomfortable. No one wants to feel less than or not good enough and particularly here where weakness is tied to not being masculine enough, you can see whereas a man you may feel threatened.

After all the conversations and research, I believe this is an opportunity for us men to add value to ourselves and meet the changing tides. The idea of us being masculine enough ultimately speaks to us being a better partner.

So much so that we make our significant other or the person we are dating feel secure with our presence. I think at the core, if we as men diligently work to constantly better ourselves financially, mentally, physically, and spiritually this topic will be a thing of the past.

If as a man you are feeling like you are not enough, pray about it. Ask God to show you where you are lacking and ask Him for help and guidance to be better. We have all the tools and resources we need to be our best selves through God, so we only have to choose to be better.

I want to live in a world where we as men collectively are so high value that women never feel like we are not enough. It starts with me, and it starts with you but with God, we can do anything.

Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a Self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.

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