My Holy Land experience

By Fr Donald Chambers, General Secretary, Antilles Episcopal Conference

I went to the Holy Land to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distractions, disturbances, and devastations imprisoned me.

I went to the Church of the Annunciation to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by Marian inculturation, national mosaics from 42 countries.

I went to the Church of the Nativity to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by slow-moving snake-like lines and a quarrelling pilgrim.

Disturbed by injustices inflicted on Palestinians at Christ’s birthplace.

I went to the Church of Cana to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Devastated by the initial rejection of a Franciscan priest to celebrate Mass at the shrine.

I went to the Mount of the Beatitudes to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Disturbed by a sign that says “Silence” yet, two women singing songs in Latin felt that their melodious singing was the exception to the rule.

I went to Mount Tabor to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Devastated by the cold, windy weather, and uncomfortable conditions of the 575 metres (1,886 feet).

I went to Tabgha, the site of the loaves and fishes, to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by two young men painstakingly and meticulously repairing ancient mosaic tiles adjacent to the holy spot.

I went to the Church of St Peter in Gallicantu (Latin for cock’s crow) – the site of Peters’ denial – to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by centuries of conquer and conquest of Jerusalem – Romans, Crusaders, Greeks, and Muslims (Ottomans) and the current tension between Jews and Muslims over Jerusalem.

I went to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (the site of Jesus’ Crucifixion and burial) to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Devastated by the power struggle among the Greek Orthodox, Armenian and Roman Catholics over this sacred space.

I went to the shrine of the Crucifixion and the spot where Jesus’ body lay in preparation for burial to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Disturbed by the insensitivity towards the weak and vulnerable pilgrims waiting for hours in lines.

I went to the Wailing Wall to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Disturbed by high power guns of Israeli police and soldiers.

Distracted by exaggerated male Jewish religious rituals.

Devastated by religious polarisation – Jews and Muslims, separated by a wall.

I went to Shepherd’s Cave to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by hawk-like vendors persuading us to purchase products made in China.

I went to the Old City to pray the Via Dolorosa,

But I couldn’t pray.

Devastated by jeering passing Muslims, the cold weather, and the drizzle of rain at 5.30 a.m.

I went to the Church of the Garden of Gethsemane to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by a ‘microwave’ Mass due to our late arrival.

I went to the Benedictine Church of the Emmaus Encounter (Luke 24:13–33) to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted by the information that their three sites claimed to be the site of the Emmaus experience.

I went to the Chapel of the Ascension on the Mount of Olives to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Disturbed by the reality that the spot was conquered several times by Christians, Orthodox, and Muslims.

I went to the Holy Land to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distractions by social inequity between Israelis and Palestinians.

Disturbed by blatant land confiscation and impoverishment of Palestinians.

Devastated by the socio-political instability and intense trust deficit in Israel.

I went to the Holy Land to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Only to realise that my distractions, disturbances, and devastations were my prayer.

I went to the Holy Land to pray,

But I couldn’t pray.

Distracted, disturbed, and devastated by a two-hour delayed flight from London to Port of Spain.

Only to realise that the delay, the distraction, the disturbance, and the devastation were my prayer. A pilgrim sister, who became ill during the delay, disembarked for medical treatment. What if she had taken ill during the flight?

I went to the Holy Land to pray,

Only to realise that prayer…

Prayer is not about the tranquil space, personal comfort, and satisfaction, or manipulating God to create ideal situations.

Prayer is awareness of the Sacred Perfection incarnated amid human imperfection.

I went to the Holy Land to pray,

And I prayed.

Offering God my distractions, disturbances, devastations, and delays

Like fragrant incense.