A call to cleanse the dents and kinks

In a reflective piece on last Sunday’s gospel of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman, Vicar General Fr Martin Sirju tackles a difficult subject in his post ‘Cleansing our Sexuality’.

“We cannot fool around with our sexuality,” he writes. “When we do, we do great harm to ourselves and to others. Sexuality needs healing and cleansing sometimes.”

We are surrounded by conversations and debate on sex and sexuality: from transgender debates, to outcries against terminology with reference to homosexuality, to Carnival costumes (or lack thereof), to the ever-emerging issues of human trafficking and the uses women are often put to, sexual abuse, and teen promiscuity.

These are macro issues which of course must concern the average citizen from both social and cultural perspectives. Perhaps, in being merciful to the naysayers, there is an underlying sense of hopelessness to understand and manage these and other major systemic issues which pervade the negativity frequently uttered on social media platforms.

But, in his post, Fr Sirju raises an important point of the private masking or compartmentalising that is often used to camouflage in this case, the sexual “dents and kinks”.

With regard to clergy, he says, “Sometimes clergy needs help in this area too, but we cover it up with false piety, especially the piety of clothes and spiritual jargon.”

The fact is that “false piety” and other means of disguise are often assumed in one way or another, whether in leaders disguised by their positions of power (and protected) much like the Pharisees and scribes; or Public Joe who takes to commentary on any of the social media platforms.

Such a dichotomy in private life and behaviour, especially where abuse occurs, and public imaging, Pope Francis in 2021 has labelled ‘hypocrisy’: “In politics, it is not unusual to find hypocrites who live one way in public and another way in private. Hypocrisy in the Church is particularly detestable; and unfortunately, hypocrisy exists in the Church and there are many hypocritical Christians and ministers….Let us not be afraid to be truthful, to speak the truth, to hear the truth, to conform ourselves to the truth, so we can love. A hypocrite does not know how to love. To act other than truthfully means jeopardising the unity of the Church, that unity for which the Lord Himself prayed.”

Fr Sirju also mentions St Teresa’s, The Interior Castle, the most important room in which is the room of self-knowledge. In her treatise, she says: “However high a state the soul may have attained, self-knowledge is incumbent upon it, and this it will never be able to neglect even should it so desire. Humility must always be doing its work like a bee making its honey in the hive: without humility, all will be lost.”

Lent provides a profound period for this self-reflection, even while providing a space for true charity externally. One of the pillars of Lent is Repentance, a measure of how far from God’s truth each individual has fallen. The Five Rs of repentance are: recognition, remorse, restitution, reformation, resolution.

And because God is a merciful God, dedication and action directed at His Truth can bring about the change and dynamism necessary to revitalise Church and society, but it begins with self-knowledge, awareness and remorse for those things that we uphold and protect quietly which are not of God.

Let us use this Lent wisely to cleanse ourselves; if necessary, seek directly spiritual or professional psychological assistance.

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