Recovery… a long road

Twenty-five years ago, Wayne Lee, approached Violet D’Ornellas and Fr George Pritchett, founders of the Emmanuel Community about having a programme for gambling addicts. It became known as a Restoration Ministry. It is based on the Gamblers’ Anonymous programme.

Addicts have to make amends to the people they wronged through their gambling habit. For Lee, beside paying back money he owed a financial institution, he had to return to close friends who lent him money. He had to go to each person who had trusted him and tell the truth about what he had done and confess he did not have the money.

“Whatever the shame or guilt you have in you, you have to go and tell them about it,” Lee said. He was fortunate to have encountered people who were willing to accept his work toward restitution, and the bank gave him time to repay. Lee said it took “a couple years well” to get employment.

The Restoration Ministry support group meets on Fridays 7– 9 p.m. The time spent in counselling cannot be predicted. There are people who remain involved for more than two years, while others “fall in and out”.

According to a booklet from Gambler’s Anonymous Games Compulsive Gamblers and We Play Second Edition, “Experience has shown that regular attendance in this self-help group is necessary in order to abstain from gambling indefinitely”.

Moderator of Emmanuel Community, Jacqueline Allamani explained that more than just a support group, clients receive advice on budgeting—and developing a realistic repayment plan.

Role playing is done as a way to help the recovering addict confront their debtors to make amends.

Allamani said, “The team will let them know what they should say…some of them have their lives threatened, their family threatened…” She added that there can be impractical plans, “They could pay back the world, ‘I will give them $1,000’ and Wayne will say that is not realistic’… you getting $2000 you can’t pay them $1,000.”

Lee stated the most important thing for the addict in the first 90 days of recovery was being able to relinquish control over their salary. This is a recommendation in the Gambler’s Anonymous programme.

“The less money you have with you, if you have any at all, the less temptation there is to gamble.” A spouse or someone trusted is given charge of the salary and the addict will present a budget on how the money will be spent.

The next thing is reviewing debts and prioritsing them. Importance is placed on if there is the chance of physical harm. “We advise them how to deal with that, how to deal with money lenders. We have ways and means to deal with money lenders. It is tough,” Lee stated.

The Restoration Ministry has a chat group with 39 members. It is a resource for the support group when there is temptation or need to speak to someone.

Spouses are invited to attend at least three or four of the group sessions “to see why the person is acting that way so they will understand, then we have advice for them how to deal with the afflicted ones.” Information booklets are given. Allamani said, “When we touch one family member here we not only touching him, we touching his wife and his two children at least four people involved. So if this year we see 60 people, multiply that by four, just on an average.”

Food support is given to families experiencing hardship due to the gambling problem but there is caution. Allamani said, “You can’t accommodate the addict because once they feel everything is good with them [family], he, she stops trying.”

Addicts must show they are willing to help themselves. Persons of the Christian faith in recovery can attend Emmanuel Community’s prayer meeting on Monday evenings. “We try to help them spiritually as well,” Allamani said.

Allamani said in the 12-step programme used reference is made to a higher power, “whoever your divine person, you get back in touch with it”.

There was a man who belonged to the Hindu religion who was reluctant to enter the Emmanuel Community programme because he perceived it as only for Christians. Lee had to set him straight.

Allamani said, “When you come here, you come here for help; you come here with your own religion. We don’t ask you to change your religion. We give you the teachings, and ask you to go back to your God. We are open to everybody. We hold strong to our truth but we have to be open to everybody.”

Lee said, “If they stay a year and a half, a year and a quarter for the slow ones, if they follow what we say, follow the teachings we give them, they will be out of it and much happier.”

The Restoration Ministry also comprises Andy Mollineau, a member for the past five years, and Savi Gouveia. The team participated in a six-week online training programme October 1– November 5, 2022 whose content included ‘Understanding Addictions’, ‘Behaviour Addictions’, ‘Alcohol Abuse and Dependency’, ‘Substance Abuse’, ‘Cognitive Behaviour and Therapy for Addiction’ and ‘Developing a Treatment Plan’.