By Daniel Francis
The difference in conversations between two all-male WhatsApp groups showed me that we as men are creating a problem.
One group consisted of my closest male friends. They all share similar beliefs, morals, and mindsets as I do. The other consisted of men who were acquaintances, but we were all from the same organisation.
In the group with my close friends, we made it a point to call each other out when we were getting into some type of foolishness. Whether that be inching towards infidelity, toxic egotistical behaviour, etc. We are close friends so we can have those tough conversations.
The other group, however, was more like a den of misbehaviour. I never felt comfortable with the lax nature in which some of the men spoke about life, especially relationships. The nonchalant attitude toward cheating, bragging about it as though it was a badge of honour and with no fear that any man in that group would dare say anything. The antiquated and adolescent expectations they had about women.
Now not all the men in the group shared the controversial views but even with a voice of reason interjecting ever so often it felt like “wotlessness” was the norm.
As I have mentioned in past articles, I dislike the misogynistic environment that men experience, and I believe this negative ‘Bro Code’ is one of those things that adds to the overall environment.
The ‘Bro Code’ has come to signify a pact of brotherhood with different expectations such as always siding with your male friend even if they are in the wrong or engaging in negative behaviour.
I believe that we must re-write the understanding of this code so that it can combat this negative environment that is out there corrupting our men and boys.
I feel like I am accountable for the men in my circle. I interact with these people the most, so it is important that I not have male close friends who are morally corrupt or misogynistic. Not only that but when I see my friends straying from the right path, I feel I must help guide them.
To me, that is the true Bro Code that we as men should be following. Helping our fellow man to stay good and righteous. We should not be encouraging, aiding, and abetting negative behaviour among ourselves.
God wants us to be our brother’s keeper. We are all God’s children and whether we want to accept it or not we should all be looking out for each other. Something as small as calling out your friend for bad behaviour can have a greater impact on the overall environment that we as men grow up in.
I hope that this article empowers you to either distance yourself from the toxic male elements in your life or to be the voice of reason in their lives.
Daniel Francis is a millennial helping other millennials. He is a two-time author of the books The Millennial Mind and The Millennial Experience, and an entrepreneur. Over the past four years, he has served as a Personal Development Coach whose work targets Millennials and helps them tap into their full potential. He is also a Self-publishing coach and has guided hundreds on self-publishing their book successfully.
LinkedIn: Daniel Francis