Poem for Moms: Check-up

By Dr Debra Bartholomew

I just went to check on him….

I felt his brow, I touched his cheek,

I listened to his breath….

I felt my chest heave under a wave of overwhelming sadness….

Just shy of a week ago, our world almost imploded…

As you lay in bed, locked away from us….

Your body, even your words paralysed in tonic state.

Fear became a stalker then

He met me in the dark alley of night

And he followed me, into my dreams when I finally found rest

And into my reality, into daytime, when your eyes became blank again.

I stare at you now….you both….

My chest heaves under overwhelming sadness

You are both my world, my heart, my joy….

Oh, what cruelty a mother endures when her child is very ill.

I lean over….I touch your cheeks, your brows….

I watch you sleep

I tuck you in…..and it is too much to bear

I climb in and lay next to you and hold you both so tight.

My chest heaves….and the numbness which held my hand and my heart less than a week ago finally gives way

The tears fall….nature’s renewing waterfall….they cascade down my face

No woman, no doctor, no hero, not even friend

Mommy only….here and now….I am only Mommy

I clutch my offspring….my world, my heart, my joy….

I am the stalker now….

But……I am not fear.

I am protector, comforter, shield….

I am hugs, undying love, and heart

I am Mommy.

My chest heaves….under a wave of overwhelming relief, overwhelming love

“Mommy! I’m fine! Why are you crying?”….

I had come to check on you….

Instead….you checked on me.