Chastity may help curb domestic violence

Domestic Violence continues to plague our country. The Domestic Violence Panel Discussion held online in 2020 by the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission (AFLC) revealed recent statistics showing that persons in Arima called for the highest number of protection orders in any given year, with Port of Spain in the second place.

A ‘Domestic Violence & Gender Equity Conference: Protecting Women and Girls’ was held in March 2013 by the Global Center for Behavioural Health. Experts throughout the Caribbean and neighbouring countries gave statistics and practical points on how to lower the rates of domestic violence in this region.

Whilst there was a call to protect both women and men from this scourge, the statistics had shown a large number of women were affected by domestic violence and gender inequality.

There were heart-wrenching stories, such as a nine-year-old girl attending school and lashing out when found to be smelling of urine and semen, and the gentle care and concern that child needed.

It was recognised that in the Caribbean, beatings became a cultural norm, and that male aggression has been normalised. In some Caribbean countries, murders due to domestic violence were as high as 30–50 per cent of all murders committed in the country! There was a call for a tee-shirt stating “I am a Real Man. I take care of and protect women”.

Other applaudable statements made by prominent speakers included “Violence is not a culture; it is a crime” and “Violence is a choice”.

A representative of CariMAN (Caribbean Male Action Network, developed by UN Women) stated that his organisation at that time (and hopefully still do) taught men skills to address conflict without violence. Parts of their programme included: anger management, managing transitions, examining the family history (as behaviours run in the family), power and control in relationships, stress management, spirituality, and relapse prevention. The programme was not punitive but focused on getting men to dialogue.

Dialogue is important in solving this problem in our region, even dialogue amongst agencies committed to ending domestic violence. At a recent consultation on the Health and Family Life Education (HFLE) curriculum, a component addressing domestic violence was discussed.

While we congratulate the organisers of this consultation for their efforts to deal with this problem in our country, we had some concerns about how this would be done in the HFLE.

In the human sexuality section of the curriculum, an introduction to contraception is covered in Form 2, Term 3. Speaking about the virtue of chastity has been seen as laughable by some, but there are very positive and significant benefits in teaching both men and women about self-control and not birth control.

Contraception can perpetuate domestic violence. Think of the abused daughter’s reproductive system maturing; she could get pregnant in some acts of domestic violence, and contraceptives can be the way to continue the heinous acts.

Or one can think of the boy who is ongoingly being forced to ‘please’ an abusive woman with contraceptive use in play.

When young people are empowered to differentiate between love and lust, they may be more inclined to report incidents of domestic violence and get out of these abusive relationships. Our young people need to know what a healthy relationship looks like.

Chastity is a virtue (good habit) that applies to sexuality. It is not giving in to your sexual desires whenever they happen for the sake of love. It is a sign of true love.

We teach about this wonderful virtue in our programmes and believe that more education in chastity could very well be the solution to this tragic problem of domestic violence.

At BOMA-TT, we are dedicated to empowering natural love through chaste-living. The Billings Ovulation Method® assists couples in the maturing of their relationship through deeper intimacy with more communication with each other, by cooperating with each other for the method to work properly and by being generous with one another and not selfish. This method is love.

Contact BOMA-TT: 384-1659,

email: billingstt@gmail.com,

website: www.billingstt.com