Life in the village Church

Diane Bertrand in her recently published a memoir, The Gospel According to Diane – Between Vestibule and Altar, chronicles her spiritual journey. She is an active parishioner in Tortuga and was involved in the restoration of Our Lady of Monserrat Church.

How would you describe yourself?

I am a fun-loving, very talkative Trinidadian wife and mother of two young adults, who is also the last of a string band of eight children born to very loving parents. I am a faithful friend, a funky aunt, a party animal and a devoted Roman Catholic who loves God and His beautiful Mother Mary with my whole heart. One of my friends describes me as a “rara avis” a rare bird, and my siblings describe me as “the energiser bunny”. If I am honest, both descriptions fit me perfectly.

1. Describe your mother and father and the kind of home life they created for you and your seven siblings.

My parents were Norbert Brown Sr and Florence Brown. They met through my mother’s brothers who became fast friends with my father during their Teacher’s Training College years. My uncles entertained my father at my mother’s home in Carenage and my parents’ relationship blossomed into marriage. My parents were well met and evenly yoked. They were both the last of very Catholic families where the values of the Catholic faith were celebrated and upheld. They both loved each other dearly and supported each other completely and were unified and unshakeable in their parenting of our rambunctious brood.

My father led on education, the arts and culture while Mummy led on our spiritual, emotional and social development, with an emphasis on hospitality. My parents gave each other the space to influence our lives in their respective areas while firmly supporting each other in their respective fields.

As the youngest of eight children, what do you think was (1) the best, and (2) most challenging circumstances for you?

I was raised in the very loving environment which resulted in my being very confident in the love of my parents and siblings. My opinions were sought and valued and even though I was the last child I was seen by my loved ones and respected. Our family’s love for music and singing made our home a very happy environment, and gave me great joy as a child. My elder siblings claim that I was spoilt, but I did not realise this being on the receiving end of the spoiling.

My mother was a stay-at-home mother which resulted in my father’s teacher’s salary looking after all of the financial needs of our ten-member family. That made our financial circumstances difficult. As age 13, I declared to Mummy that I was not going to wear another hand-me-down outfit ever again in my life. I had had an epiphany moment, realising that I rarely had clothes that were brand new, bought only for me. She also had an epiphany moment and she was true to her promise to me that day.

2. You indicated that you wrote the content of the book primarily for your children who were feeling like ‘misfits’. At what ages did your children indicate they felt like ‘misfits’? What experiences or scenarios brought that about?

During their A’ Levels into young adulthood and the university years, my children began to complain about being ‘misfits’ in the world. They chastised us for raising them in the way that we had, implying that their pathway to selfhood was more difficult given their upbringing. They were struggling to find their place in the world.

3. What exactly inspired you to start writing this book as your memoir?

I had a burning desire to comfort my children and explain to them how I was formed, and as such explain the formation that they received as our children. They did not have a detailed understanding of my life within the Brown household, nor how that translated into my marriage and my parenting. I believed that if they understood this, it would help them to understand the genesis of the culture of the household that Rollin [husband] and I had created. I also want a written record as a document which could be passed from generation to generation.

4. This book is supposed to be a touching memoir, which chronicles a life lived in the shadow of the Almighty. What exactly does this mean and what is its importance?

I grew up in Indian Walk, Moruga Road in the sixties and seventies within a Roman Catholic family. We were one of the few Catholic families in the village. Being in an out station of the mother church in New Grant, Our Lady of Mount Carmel, Mass was said once a month in the home of the Post Mistress. Upon her death and the changed circumstances of her family, Father Fennessy asked my parents for Mass to be said in our home. Upon receiving approval, Father further asked for Mass to be said every week in our home and so our home became the village Roman Catholic Church.

Additionally, my mother was the catechist for all of the village children and faithfully brought the small flock to the Sacraments of the Church. Our home therefore served as the ‘parish hall’ where catechesis was taught, choir practice for weekend liturgies was done, since my family was the choir, and a retreat for priests, deacons and seminarians who served the parish in those years.

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5. Do you think this book as your memoir covers most aspects of your life and how your spirituality has influenced such? If so, how and if not, why?

No, the memoir focused on my spiritual life mainly. There are many facets of my life which were excluded since they were not the central theme that was being explored. I did not write about my business/corporate life, nor did I write about my life as a wife serving besides my husband as he navigated the corporate world. The memoir touches mainly the spiritual side of who I am.

6. How long did you take you to finish the book? Can you describe the process of that journey?

I began writing about eight years ago, scribbles on a page, noting ideas as they popped into my head. In September 2019, I had about three disconnected, scattered and incomplete chapters. My writing circle, helped me to crystalise the ideas, but at the end of 2019, I still had only three chapters. March 2020, the country came to a halt and life as we knew it stood still. Around May/June of 2020, a nudge from the Holy Spirit set me on a pathway to completing the book, and I finished two weeks before my birthday in November.

After Father Sirju read the draft, he said to me that the book was timely since on March 19, 2021, Pope Francis was launching the year ‘Amoris Laetitia Family’, which will conclude on June 26, 2022, during the Meeting of Families in Rome with the Holy Father. I was amazed at the alignment of the book’s contents with the Pope Francis’ proclamation.

7. How did you come up with the name for your book? What does the book’s title mean to you?

Several people are curious about why I named the book The Gospel According to Diane – Between Vestibule and Altar.” I got several calls from individuals trying to come to terms with the name of the memoir. I got the name in segments. That is to say, the tail of the name, “Between Vestibule and Altar,” I had as part of the name from the very beginning. That part of the name refers to Joel 2:17 – 19.

Several years later as I looked for the first part of the name, a few Opus Dei sisters on retreat in Gran Couva called and visited my home on one of their free afternoons, as is our practice. In telling them about the book and the struggle that I was having with naming of the book, I shared that the memoir chronicled Jesus walking through my life. One of them, a St Lucian, said, “Oh, so you are writing your Gospel?”. She went on to add, “My parish priest insists that every life has a Gospel within it, an account of how Jesus walks through that life.” At that revelation, I knew immediately that the book would be called The Gospel According to Diane – Between Vestibule and Altar.

8. In writing the book, did you verbally speak about most of the topics to your children before the book was finished? If yes, how did that go and what was its impact on your writing? If no, why not and how did that impact your writing?

I did not speak to many people as I wrote the book. A very small handful of persons actually knew that I was writing the book and I even hid it from most of my siblings. At the time I had undertaken this massive project which although big, was extremely fragile. The writing process was extremely emotional and it was a pilgrimage into parts of my memory that were long forgotten.

I did not discuss the contents of the writing until it was completed. It was as if I was afraid I would lose the thread of the story by discussing it. Then Christmas 2020, I gave my husband and my children an unedited manuscript each as one of their Christmas presents. I had about 40,000 words to edit since memoirs are usually around 80,000 words. That version had all of the stories, even those that I cut through my rigorous editing process.

9. What was the most challenging and rewarding occurrences when writing and publishing this book and how did you overcome them?

The most challenging was the emotional rollercoaster that writing a memoir initiates. The most rewarding part was creating a truthful record of my life for my children and the generations ahead.

10. What did you learn when writing the book?

I learnt that writing the book was also a spiritual journey for me. I had thought that I was writing about my spiritual life for my children. However, it turned that the actual process of writing was also a spiritual pilgrimage for me. It was a most unexpected revelation and I am happy that through the process of writing, I too was enriched by a deeper layer of truth which was not evident before I began the process.

11. Who or what has most influenced your writing and why?

I wanted to show my children the providential hand of God in our lives working from generation to generation, from my grandparents through my parents, Rollin and myself to them. I wanted to show how God walked through our lives. It reveals His hand in every story, His revelation of Himself to us in every situation. There will be readers who will only see the surface of the story. However, if the book is read with spiritual eyes, the reader will encounter God throughout and hopefully find lessons that will be of value.

Among the human characters in the book, my mother is the main character. She is in every chapter either directly or indirectly. Even when she is not actively in the narrative, she is passively there. For example, in the scene which describes my neighbour coming to invite me to her home to entertain Manager X as his emissary to recruit me to have an affair with him, throughout that exchange, I was thinking, “Wait until Mummy hears this story. She will be appalled.” In every chapter of the book, she is the thread that pulls it all together.

12. What were some of the key thoughts or revelations that came about for your children and other family members when they read the book?

My husband and children are extremely pleased and proud that I wrote a book that captures our family record. Olivia my daughter said, “I think it is wonderful to have this record of our family life and our family culture to look back on and to ponder in the years to come.” Matthew is overjoyed that I have captured this ‘historical artifact’ of our lives, a treasure to keep always. When I hear my children speak so positively about the memoir, I am gratified.

13. The book has its own wonderful website, as well as Facebook and Instagram pages. How would you describe the process of creating them, their benefits to you and the book, and how do you manage them?

All of my social media was created to show my ‘soul-scape’. Whenever I go into contemplation, I go into a garden at the bottom of a descending staircase, as described in the book, and I pass through a door at the foot of the staircase into a garden, my soul-scape. I created the website myself; I did not realise it was my soul-scape until I had completed it.

Incidentally, the memoir is an invitation to readers to traverse my soul-space as well.

14. So far, are there any reviews on the book that have made a significant impact on you?

Feedback from Father Sirju, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Port of Spain, made a great impact on me. Father Sirju is known among Catholics to be a brilliant, revolutionary theological thinker of our time. He was kind enough to read the book and to write its Foreword. He gave me many, many thoughts about the book which encouraged me. However when he agreed to do the Foreword, I was overjoyed. This was definitely a highpoint for me especially since my parents loved him like a son.

15. Your ancestors and you seem quite immersed in the Catholic faith and church, so how do you think your book can help or speak to persons who are not as involved or familiar as you?

The book is about a Catholic family, but it is also about any family. Any and every book contains teachings and lessons for the reader. When we do English Literature at school and read Shakespeare, To Kill a Mockingbird, A House for Mr. Biswas, or any book, we do not have to be the exact nationality, religion, race etc. to be able to glean wisdom and knowledge from a piece of literature. So, it is with this memoir. If the reader pays attention and is sensitive to the twists and turns of the story, they will discover the truths of the book.

16. What advice would you give someone who wants to write a memoir or any book?

Write the truth and write from the heart.

17. What can we expect from you in the near future regarding the promoting of your book and its message or any other future project?

I have been invited to a few talk shows and book clubs so far. Covid protocols have stymied many of the plans for the promotional events. However, I am not daunted. It is going according to God’s Will.