R.E.S.P.E.C.T –Find out what it really means to me!

As we continue the series from Beyond the Birds and the Bees, this week we tackle a big one—respect. It’s the fourth virtue in raising whole and sexually holy children.

We’ve all heard while growing up that we must have respect for ourselves and others. This goes beyond the rules of not being rude to your elders or having respect for authority.

Having respect for oneself and others involves a few aspects such as modesty, dignity, generosity, and limits. So, let’s delve into these a bit more and see how it relates to healthy sexuality.

According to Beyond the Birds and the Bees, “Modesty has more to do with one’s internal attitude.” This means essentially how we carry ourselves—our behaviour, our manner and appearance reflecting the dignity of our personhood and our bodies as a gift from God.

Setting a foundation that reflects respect for one’s dignity, teaches children that ‘I can carry my confidence, my value and my morals proudly’, which in turn will naturally showcase healthy inward and outward behaviours, healthy self-image, healthy decisions in all their relationships with others and healthy reciprocations.

Generosity in our sexuality calls us to be loving servants to others. Sexuality is affected by our responsibilities between yourself and your spouse. A balanced and harmonious dance of a working relationship of tasks and duties in the household can encourage generosity in love and affection.

Have you ever observed your husband sweeping the backyard and it brings you much relief that the place is finally looking tidy, that you thank him with a glass of mauby and a little shoulder rub?

Or have you ever observed your wife cleaning the house so your family can feel more comfortable and you thank her by finishing the chores along with a few kisses of appreciation?

Sexuality is not just sex. It’s the generosity of our love in all that we do with and for each other.

Modelling generosity, appreciation and affection for our children will have a profound impact on how they express the same to their future spouse.

“Morality is dependent upon my ability to set limits” (39, Popcak).  Beyond the Birds and the Bees referenced two ways that parents can teach their children to set respectful limits:

1. Appropriately affirming children with verbal and physical affection. Children who didn’t experience affirming love may tend to do things for attention, approval and violating things they believe in.
2. Allowing children the opportunity to tell parents when they believe they are being treated disrespectfully. We are raising children to know what to say, how to say it and a safe platform to say it.

Teaching them this right to be brave and stand up for themselves will result in having a moral backbone, which will serve effective in their decisions and behaviours in adulthood for a healthy, holy sexuality.

Visit aflcrc.org and our social media platforms—@familylifecommission or WhatsApp 299-1047 as we seek to educate parents about healthy and age-appropriate sex and sexuality conversations with their children.