Series: Youth reflect on 2020

By Annisha Solomon

2020 started with a bang! Family time, followed by a birthday Mass and Stations of the Cross were all I could hope for. And to my delight, God delivered. I was a “good Christian” after all and very much deserved this request.

The month of March ushered in the COVID-19 experience, and life as I knew changed. I became uneasy and in my desperate attempt to cling to Christ, I did two things: 1) attended daily Mass virtually, and 2) wrote down all my ‘lockdown aspirations’. I had been given free time, and I wanted to make the most of it. I felt accomplished. Life was good.

As my attendance at daily Mass progressed, my spirit became stirred by the Spirit of God. One day, during Mass, the Holy Spirit spoke, “What would people say about you when you die?” and as I began pondering, He stated, “What would God (the Father) say?” Despite knowing myself for 20-plus years, I didn’t have an answer. You see I had ‘peaked’ as a Catholic. I attended Holy Mass every weekend and on First Fridays, weekly Eucharistic adoration, monthly Reconciliation, and was consistent in giving tithes. I was exceptional, yet I had no answer. He then asked, “Are you working in the Kingdom?”. To this, I had an answer, and it was “no”. You see, I belonged to no community/ministry nor did I aid in any of the formation Sacraments, thus I had no impact in the lives of Catholics. Journeying to God by myself was more idealistic but this is not the mindset of one seeking the Kingdom.

As time passed, He began showing me all my ugliness, letting me know that I will receive the graces to overcome if only I would give them over to Jesus. Holding my breath, I began taking the small steps, failing at times because I barely recognised His voice. As I gave in to His promptings, I felt His love and became His love to others. In July, Jesus came knocking in the form of the Holy Spirit Chosen Ministry, and although I was hesitant, I said ‘yes’. This was and still is only the beginning of my journey to Jesus Christ. Walking with the Holy Spirit daily is indeed an adventure. He poured out His gift of tongues in October via a Zoom session. I am learning to cook, sew, and to bear all the fruit of the Spirit. To put it all together, I would say this:

As I welcomed the Holy Spirit into every day,
He taught me how to read and Pray.
How to look with opened eyes,
And see the mighty hand of God that supplies.

The more I read, reflect and Pray,
The closer I get to Jesus every day.
Learning to let go, to give over, and live
The amazing life that only He can give.

You see, the lot marked out for me is of the best,
If I let go, He’ll definitely do the rest.
Not my will God, but Yours be done.
You have the victory, You have already won!

So I’m exiting 2020 and entering 2021, taking this small lesson with me, “we walk by faith and not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7), because “God is faithful” (1Cor 1:9). 2020 will forever be the year I began journeying deeper with Jesus Christ. Stay blessed and awake (spiritually), and I’ll see you in 2021.