To Be A Good Wife

BY STEPHANIE RATTAN

A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value. 

She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life. — (Proverbs 31:10-12) 

In this day and age, reading that scripture may not be taken well by most of our women in society.  It is common thinking that women should focus on their self-sufficiency by acquiring a decent job and making plans for forging an independent life. These are all positive goals to set and while it is true that some women are called to the religious life or lead a single life, many women cherish the belief that they do not have to get married. We do not have to depend on a man to care for us and neither should we have to care for them. All that is important is ourselves, living a comfortable, autonomous life. 

Sadly, this is something that I used to believe as a young woman, until a divine encounter. It was then I realised that marriage is a good thing, to be able to have a partner who loves Jesus and is willing to journey through this life with you and help you get to Heaven is indeed a noble prayer and desire. After all sacred scriptures reminds us that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord” (Prov 18:22). Added to this, we are familiar with the old adage that the family is the foundation of society. Hence, if the men get no co-operation from us, then, in the long term what would become of our society? 

From my own experience and I am sure many women can relate too, the notion of being open to be a wife is not an easy decision. Although this would come naturally to some women, for many of us the hurt and wounds we may have experienced makes us very uncomfortable in relationships. They make us question God and His design for relationships, marriage and even family life. However, if we allow God to heal those deep wounds in us and bring us into a place of restoration and fullness of His abundant life, then our view on being a bearer of goodness and blessing to our husbands would be one of our values for those discerning marriage and already living the married life. 

In spite of whatever bad experiences, we may have had, we can attain nobleness, which I would say comes from having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. To seek this relationship would cost us and maybe even challenge us to let go of the highly esteemed principles or beliefs of our society but God’s designs are always good. As St Augustine says, we were made by God and for God and so it is always best to let Him lead us, form us and mold us into the women He designed us to be.