By Sophie Barcant,
BA (Psyc), B.ED
Trainer, Facilitator,
Parenting Coach/Consultant
Uncertainty in our lives continues. Will our children perform as well when SEA, CXC and CAPE exams come around? Is the approach being taken fair or just? How will the academic year work?
Will I be made redundant? Will I get a salary cut? Will I be able to reopen my business? How long can I sustain this homeschooling, remote work and homemaking? Will there be a second wave of COVID-19?
The questions are endless; fears are deep; frustrations are high.
What are our options?
Truly this is the time to really take our faith to a higher level. What else is there?
Let’s also ask ourselves what example we have been setting for our children in terms of our faith and trust. Are they hearing us complain and express fear and anxiety over the future? Is our language one of impending chaos, doom, and hopelessness?
They listen to all our spoken words and some children even sense our non-spoken messages. It is vital that they hear messages of coping, hope, trust, this too shall pass and that all will be well.
Last weekend our beloved Archbishop urged us to leave the Upper Room, as the disciples did after Pentecost. The Holy Spirit has been given to us as to the apostles; we must move out now and be mission. It’s time to start the Church as they did, not travelling far and wide but at our Domestic Church, in our very own families, with those we must teach and form, with those we struggle to get along with, those we need to forgive, accept, and love.
Faith, trust, hope, and love is where we need to start; it is what is most needed to cope with these times.
We have heard dozens of tips to help us cope with the lockdown: to set up schedules, breathe deeply, selfcare, delegate to older children to help. These tips help at a certain level.
We can gain much deeper peace and build great trust by developing mantras of faith and trust. Our Christian faith has given us all the tools. St Paul in Romans 12:12 urges us to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind”.
I have faced great uncertainties myself, felt terrified by decisions we have had to make. My sanity was maintained by switching my thoughts from worry to mantras of praise and inviting the Holy Spirit to possess me.
“Thank you, God, for everything” and “Veni Sancti Spiritus” have been favourites.
Brain science tells us that we must repeat things over and over for them to become subconscious. What better way to cope is there, at this time of fear and anxiety, than to dwell on spiritual truths rather than worry.
Lately, realising that I am a princess, a daughter of my Heavenly Father, Heiress to The Most High King, Great Source of creation, cosmos, abundant beauty, peace and love, supplier of all my needs, have been hugely comforting.
The line from Psalm 23 “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want” means that we will want for nothing. What a powerful concept. But do we really believe this? Worry means we do not believe.
FEAR means False Evidence (or Expectations) Appearing Real. Fearful experiences we conjure up in our imaginations seldom, if ever, play out as we imagine. We have the power to choose our thoughts.
St Paul urges us to “Fill your minds with those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable…. And the God who gives us peace will be with you” (Phil:8–10).
Like the father whose child Jesus healed said “Lord I believe, help my unbelief”, let’s beg Our Heavenly Father for increased faith and trust. Jesus Himself said “Which of you as fathers would give your son a stone when he asks for bread? Or would you give him a snake when he asks for a fish? As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more then, will your Father in Heaven give good things to those who ask him?” (Matt 7:9–11).
I can’t imagine God holding back giving us greater faith, trust, hope and love should we ask for it. These are our life rings now as we bob about the present and future sea of uncertainty. “Ask and you shall receive, Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door shall be opened onto you” (Matt 7:7).
We have church at home. Let’s utter these verses, post them on the fridge, create artwork with them so they can be imprinted into our children’s minds to guide them through these times and life ahead.
Follow Sophie’s parenting approaches drawn from Love and Logic and Positive Discipline on www.sophiesparentingsupport.com, FB and Instagram. For personal coaching, contact:sophiebarcant@gmail.com