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Speaking of Love and Lust

“Love can wait to give, but lust can’t wait to get.”

There is profound truth in the statement attributed to Jason Evert, a Catholic author and chastity speaker. While the best of us do not have the patient love of God the Father and have allowed lust to overwhelm our minds and hearts, there are some thoughts that deter us from making bad decisions or acting on our lustful thoughts.

Ideally, we should direct our thoughts toward what love really is. Most people talk about love being the feelings they have toward another, but when feelings go away what is left? Is it still love? Have you ever heard someone say they ‘fell out of love’?

“Love is not merely a feeling. It is an act of will that consists in preferring, in a constant manner, the good of others to the good of oneself”—St Pope John Paul II. Love wants what is best for the beloved—what is best for your beloved incorporates directing passionate desires toward alternative actions instead of sexual ones.

“Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself… If you seek your life selfishly, you will lose it. If you are generous in giving it, you will find it!” —St Pope John Paul II. That gift of self often involves the generous sacrifice of not acting on feelings and passions and remaining abstinent for the sake of true love, which is always patient and kind.

The second train of thought, after battling lustful thoughts with loved ones, treats with two negative consequences of lustful sexual activity: unplanned pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).

No method of birth-control works 100 per cent hence unplanned pregnancies occur. Even if a child was not intended, that child is a gift of God. Crisis pregnancy centres are available for those who conceive and need support to bring their children safely into the world. The Mary Care Centre is one of them.

The Children’s Authority has an extensive list of couples desiring a baby if care for the child needs to be continued by someone other than the mother or family.


Easy transmission

On the issue of STDs, the US National Institutes of Health in June 2000 noted that the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), which can cause cervical cancer in women, “is spread by skin-to-skin contact throughout the entire genital area, including one’s thighs and lower abdomen”.

Other studies have shown “If you have sex with a person, you’re basically having sex with everyone that they’ve had sex with, not to mention the others their partners have had sex with. By having sexual contact with one person, you could be exposing yourself to STDs of hundreds of people. This is frightening, considering that 80 per cent of people who have an STD are unaware of their own infection.”

“Oral sex can transmit virtually every STD, and hand-to-genital contact can transmit some as well. So, even virgins can get STDs, including oral cancer from HPV…If a woman gets chlamydia (reported anecdotally to be the most common STD in T&T) and isn’t treated in time, she may become infertile (unable to have children). Seventy-five per cent of women and fifty per cent of men don’t show symptoms after they contract it.”

Also, “(Hormonal) Birth-control pills (injections and devices) interfere with a woman’s immune system, making her more likely to contract certain STDs.”

For the references of these quotes please contact us.

For more information on STDs please contact Dr Peter Gentle of the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission’s Ministry of Human Sexuality (

This Carnival we hope and pray for respect and love to be the order of the day.


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