God, and God alone
November 7, 2019
Discern, respond and live the calling
November 7, 2019

Burying grief, resurrecting hope

The following is a Spoken Word piece that was delivered by Kayla Daniel at the launch of the Consolation Ministry of the Parish of the Incarnation, Maloney, on October 26


It came as a whisper

Faint and invisible

Releasing itself down my neck

Letting shivers run down my spine

Two days later it’s a pain

A sharp intolerable



A month later and it’s a shiver

As if the Antarctic

Was lethargic and fell asleep on my spinal cord

Picking one by one

At my strings made of paper

And it rips

Every time.

The worst time of year is the anniversary

Where those chords play sweet sounds like a  mobile in a nursery

The worst time of the year is when it comes like a thief in the night

Nothing but a moko jumbie wrapped in black cloth

Towering over me and playing mas with my mind

Except I don’t see colours

Not last year

Not last week

Maybe this time

I look around the room to see what it takes

But it’s when the tears falls and

Humpty dumpty  their  way through the ripples of my lover’s favourite skin

That I realise

I couldn’t put myself back together again

And it whispers, shivers and steals all at once

Just like a splash of cold water on a hot summer day

Washes away the ecstasy

Replaces it with duped misery

Tricking me

into believing I’m okay

I’ve just become a widow

Would I though?

See him again, that is?

The question lies heavy on my tongue like a bee sting

Buzz buzz buzzing past me in a fistful of memories and a handful of fears

Until my tongue touches the ground

Gone down

Deep underneath red soil even though I’m still growing


Keep on going

Chug chug chugging past death but the pins not missing like in bowling

Pins and needles

Intricate when my hands shake like the 2018 earthquake

Yes, I remember when you said don’t cry

But it’s as if WASA finally doing they job and the tank overflowing

With love

With tears

With everything

anything .

I wish I could feel any and everything

One night I caught it

Sneaking into my bedroom window

My anticipation jumps at him

“Who are you?”

I inquire

It freezes like the best place to eat a doubles

On the spot

“What?” it asks

“Who are you?” I repeat

“I am the feeling you keep running away from”

Turning its back to me

It’s about to slip out the window

With no sense of regard at all

Until I grab it by its black cape

Exposing him

In the centre of it all ,

The spiral of misfortune

Lies a sparkle so tiny it nearly misses my sight

With a bucket of hesitation I scope out the light

I hold it and own it

It grows bigger as my fingers make contact

Until suddenly the room is consumed

With the white of heaven

And the trumpet of hope sounds

Amidst a new horizon